Q: I have been dating my girlfriend for the past year, but we are both going to different colleges this year. How hard is it to do the whole long distance relationship thing freshman year? Should we stay together and hope for the best or should I be free my freshman year? Is it even possible for us to stay in a relationship?
– Already Taken
Chick: This is a tough decision. On one hand, you love your girlfriend and want to make it work. On the other, you are also curious about your possibilities freshman year, which is completely normal. Freshman year is about exploring different people, environments, interests and, most importantly, yourself. It is a time when you can really find out who you are as a person and that is hard to do when you come to a new place already wearing a label – even if it is a relationship label. It is possible to stay in this relationship, but it would mean staying in to talk on the phone while your friends go out drinking on a Tuesday night, overly expensive phone bills and lots of “I miss yous” when you could be out living up your freshman year. You are going to get curious and you are definitely going to want to meet as many people as you can. (And your girlfriend probably will too). The smartest decision to take a break from your long-term relationship so that neither of you hurt each other. Then, when you see her over winter or Thanksgiving break, you can both decide where your relationship stands.
Dick: Let’s start with the last part of your question first. In a healthy normal way, there is no way to stay together. If you want to have your girlfriend turn into a psycho, needy, clingy monster, then stay together. If that’s not your bag, drop her faster than you can say 59 percent of your class is female. There really is no choice here – if you are going to marry this girl you guys will get back together later on, but otherwise you will just be making yourself miserable. Think of it this way, you will be living in a candy store, one that is virtually free, and even though you may have your favorite type of cookie at home, there is no reason not to sample a couple of pieces of candy while you are out. Everyone will want to be promiscuous and will be fooling around except you, think about that. You are about to live with 600 girls all in the same building, do you really want to be tied down to a high school girlfriend?
Q: I’m single and looking forward to freshman year. But I am kind of worried about the dating scene at GW. What is it like? Is Thurston Hall the only place to find members of the opposite sex? What is your advice for someone who is looking to date once they get to the city?
– On the prowl
Chick: Freshman year of college is one of the most memorable years of your dating life. GW’s dating scene is much like most schools. Don’t expect things to be like in high school – he’s not going to pick you up in a freshly washed car and take you to dinner and a movie. You’ll meet someone, hook up a few times and then decide if a real relationship, whether serious or casual, can stem from these hook-ups. Very few people actually “date” here. The best way to find someone to date here is to be yourself and to stop thinking about finding someone. Don’t force anything and don’t be avidly searching for anything – it will lead to a hook-up here and there, but it probably won’t lead to anything meaningful or long-lasting. Oh, and about Thurston, it is not the only place to find someone. People are people no matter what residence hall they live in, and their residence hall won’t dictate whether or not they want to date. Just come to GW with an open mind and you will find that there are a lot of people here like you, looking for someone.
Dick: I’m a little confused by your use of the word date. If by date you mean hook up with someone a couple of times, get their number and maybe talk to them once more, then the dating scene is great. The great thing about college is all the different types of people you get to meet from all over the world. You also have the ability to sample all these different flavors without people judging. Yes this is true everyone hooks up a lot, and there is nothing wrong with it. The best way to “date” is to meet lots of different people and take advantage of it. As far as meeting people, that can happen all over the place – class, dorms, in line, at bars and restaurants. A couple pieces of advice, don’ t do the next-door neighbor, and not your lab partner. Besides that you have a green light, but remember unless you want an embarrassing itch, use protection.
