April Fools Issue


GW begins ‘shock and awe’ expansion
GW has launched its much- anticipated “shock and awe” campaign to eviscerate historic Foggy Bottom and rid the community of its elderly residents. After giving locals 48 hours to vacate their homes or die, GW President Smokin Jointswithyour Tuitionmoney, in an address yesterday, gave the order to begin the takeover of the historic community Sunday.

GW changes name to Georgetown
In a last ditch attempt to gain applications, GW will rename itself The Georgetown University next fall to trick incoming freshmen into thinking they are going to a better school.

University officials are ordering new signs for all campus buildings and flags for streetlights, a project expected to cost $2 million in marketing materials.


GW begins ‘shock and awe’
       expansion

ROTC stages hostile coup,
       replaces SA govt

GW changes name to
       Georgetown

GW to open Baghdad campus;
       renames students

Shit just keeps on happening in
       this joint

How was your weekend?

Greek boxer briefs

Muff diver arrested in University
       sex sting

GWiting to GWow rankings

PoliCop program to secede
       from GW

More usless shit

My penis is THIS big…

See inside for a quick message
       to study abroad and housing
       services

Affirmative Action for stoners

Smoke weed every day

Letters to the editor

Forum: Spit vs. Swallow



New terror alert issued for
       coach

GW cuts all sports except
       basketball

Keg party will replace Midnight
       Madness

Title IX repealed, women ousted

Men’s basketball searches for
       exoskeletons

Noha snaps, begins blocking
       GW shots too

GW nets Ohio phenom



Meet the editors

Battle of the genitals

Justin, you’re not black

Oh, the places you’ll go

Dick Driver: GW sex god

College company provides
       students with late night ‘eats’

Bar Belle: One last cocktease

Jesus stages second coming

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