Q: Things have been getting more intimate with a new boyfriend of mine and recently he started asking about my past love life. I tried to change the subject whenever he would bring it up, but this only made him more curious. Finally, when he insisted that whatever I’d done wouldn’t matter to him, he just wanted me to be honest, I reluctantly told him that I’ve slept with seven people – four more than he has. Now he’s been acting weird around me and doesn’t really seem to be in the mood to hook up any more. I have no idea what to do next. I really like this guy and I don’t want to lose him. Did I do the wrong thing? ~Not a Slut
Chick: Honesty can be the best policy, but not when your boyfriend is too immature to handle the truth. You learned this lesson the hard way – while most people are curious about their lovers’ pasts, ignorance is usually bliss. Guys’ egos are easily inflated and deflated, and what obviously happened here is that your tally of sleepovers gave him a bit of a shock. His lack of eagerness to hook up with you stems from insecurity. Now that he knows you’ve had more experience than he has, he’s probably scared about how he measures up compared to all the other fellas. The best thing to do is to talk to him. Tell him that you really like him, that you don’t want to lose him and that he has nothing to worry about. Then butter him up a little over the next week or so. Of course, there is no guarantee this will fix things, and if he’s still freaking out over this, your best bet is to cut him loose and find a more mature guy. Other than that, there isn’t much you can do. You can’t erase your past and he can’t erase his insecurities.
Dick: The first thing you should do, if you haven’t already done it, is sleep with him so at least he doesn’t feel left out. Think about all the good times that you had sleeping with all those guys and consider lying about it next time. I think the trick will be spinning it in a good direction. Don’t let him think you’re loose but, rather, experienced. The trick will be to rock his world with some “experienced” move. Maybe break out “the lotus” or some other sophisticated move to make him more secure. Also, give him a copy of your last STD test.
Q: I think my best friend has developed an eating disorder. She has lost a lot of weight and never really eats anymore. When our group of friends meets for dinner at J Street, she will either say she isn’t hungry or she already ate. When she does buy food, it is usually a salad and she just picks at it. I want to approach her about it, but I don’t want to upset her and push her away. What should I do? ~Worried Friend
Chick: This is an issue that should definitely not be ignored, even at the risk of a friendship. You should first understand that an eating disorder is also a mental disorder and that your friend is seeing herself in an entirely different light than you do, which is what makes anorexia so difficult to conquer. The best thing to do is to educate yourself – do a little research on the Internet. You will learn, first of all, that anorexia usually has very little to do with weight but more with control, which is why asking your friend to just “eat more” won’t work and will probably alienate her from you. The next step is to approach her when you are alone. Tell her that she is your best friend, that you have noticed her weight loss and any other symptoms she shows (loss of energy, depression, antisocial behavior, etc.) and gently tell her that you want to help. If she seems interested, tell her about counseling options at GW, such as the help that Student Health offers and other anonymous care she can receive here. Be prepared to go with her and be her support. If, however, she insists she doesn’t have a problem and her condition only worsens, then it is time for you to go to a counselor and discuss this matter and other options further, because nothing is worth losing a best friend.
Dick: If you are a good friend, you need to intervene. Take her out to dinner, split the check and talk to her about it. The best time to intervene is when the disease is starting and before it becomes a deeply grounded habit. She will probably be upset at the beginning, but in the long run she will thank you for your support and helping her through the tough time. Anorexia is not something to joke about. If someone does not want to eat, then a friend needs to step in and help him or her through tough, not to mention dangerously unhealthy, times.
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