Battle of the Sexes

09-30-02 10-07-02 10-14-02 10-21-02
10-28-02 11-04-02 11-11-02 11-18-02
11-25-02 12-09-02 01-13-03 01-21-03
01-27-03 02-03-03 02-10-03 02-18-03
02-24-03 03-03-03 03-10-03 04-10-03
04-14-03 04-21-03 04-28-03

09-30-02
Q: I have a guy friend who lives halfway across the world who calls and e-mails me all the time to tell me that he loves me and wants to travel with me when I get out of school. Now that I’m a senior, I really don’t know what to do. Should I travel with him, or should I stay here like most of my friends and find a job or go to grad school? ~Faraway Friend

Q: I am having major problems with one of my roommates. For the past two weeks now she’s been bringing home guys to hook up/sleep with, which I guess would be fine if she ever asked how our other roommate and I felt about it. I just hate waking up every morning and having to get ready for classes with a strange guy in our room! What do I do? ~Tired of Being Sexiled

10-07-02
Q: How do I act toward my roommate from last year (whom I hate) when I see her this year for the first time? I have no interest in pretending to like her, but I feel like if I totally ignore her and avoid her then I will be even more of a bitch.
~Not Friendly
Q: I’m very self-conscious when getting intimate with girls, mostly because of my hairy back and buttocks. Is this important to a lover or am I just being silly? ~Fuzzy Wuzzy

10-14-02
Q: Ever since high school, all my friends have always had boyfriends. I was always the “friend” and never the potential girlfriend. This problem seemed to carry over into college life, as guys always seem to see me as the “friend,” and many of my friends are constantly involved with someone. I’m OK with being friends, but I’m frustrated at always being put into that category. What can I do to get out of the friend zone? ~Just A Friend
Q: Something really weird happened to me the other day and it’s been bothering me ever since. I’m a straight guy and the other day a man asked me out on a date. While part of me takes it as a compliment, the other part wants to know what about me is gay and it’s really confusing me. How do you give out a “gay” vibe if you’re not gay? What should I do if this ever happens again? ~Confused

10-21-02
Q: I want to try anal sex with my girlfriend but I’m not sure how to ask her because I don’t want her to get mad or upset with me. It’s just something I want to try, so what should I do? ~Curious
Q: How do you act around a friend you mistakenly (and drunkenly) hooked up with? I’ve always had this crush on one of my good guy pals and recently acted on it at a party when we both had been drinking for a while. But now I have no idea how he feels about this whole thing. It’s awkward because we still are friends and all of our friends are friends with each other and so I’m always bumping into him. What do you suggest I do? ~Feeling Awkward

10-28-02
Q: My boyfriend wants me to get my tongue pierced and I wanted to know if it’s worth the pain and inconvenience for the sexual pleasure on his end? ~Unsure
Q: I like this guy in a couple of my classes. I talk to him sometimes, but I can’t get a clear vibe. How do I find out if he’s interested? ~Yearning in bio-chem.

11-04-02
Q: I moved off campus with these two girls who I used to be friends with. But things have changed now and we don’t get along anymore, and I am really unhappy about it. I’m almost never at the apartment, just so I can avoid them, but I signed a lease. What do I do? ~Junior who wants out
Q: I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a month now. He’s a great guy and I really like him a lot, but lately I’ve been debating about whether or not to break up with him. Whenever we go to parties he always ends up drinking too much and embarrassing me in front of all our friends with his drunken antics. He’s gotten so out of control that I don’t like going out with him anymore, and when I finally talked to him about this, he only got defensive and just said he was having fun and deserves a break after a week of studying. So should I break up with him? Talk to him again? I’m losing patience. ~Annoyed Girlfriend

11-11-02
Q: I’m a freshman with a boyfriend back home that I’ve been with for the last three years. I love him and miss him a lot, but only being able to call him and see him every few months is eating me alive. I didn’t think that a long distance relationship could be so hard and lately I’ve been feeling really lonely. There’s also this guy down the hall that I like who’s been very flirty with me and it’s been really tempting to start something up with him. But then I can’t imagine breaking up with my present boyfriend – I feel absolutely torn! Should I stay with him or is it time to move on? ~Lonely Girlfriend
Q: There is obvious sexual tension between my TA and me. I wasn’t sure at first, but even some of my friends in that class have commented on it. I don’t know if I can make a move or how I should respond if she makes a move, so what should I do? ~Unsure

11-18-02
Q: All my friends are going abroad except for me, which means that I’m getting all new roommates and that I’ll have no one I can depend on. I’m really scared about what next semester will be like – I really don’t want to start over, but what else can I do? -Miserable
Q. Two of my close friends are dating. Recently, I caught “John” hooking up with some girl when “Liz” was at home feeling sick. I feel so torn, because I’m equally close to both of them, but I have to do something about this. Who do I confront? Do I go to John, or do I speak to Liz and tell her what I saw? ~Confused

11-25-02
Q: Whenever I hook up with a girl, it always ends up going to really late like 5 a.m. I understand some foreplay and such, but why can’t we just cut out some of the middle part and get to the good stuff and be done earlier? ~Mr. Speedy
Q: Recently I performed oral sex on my girlfriend for the first time and found it to be, uh, very unpleasant. How can I tell her that things would be more enjoyable for me if she tidied up a bit? ~Not looking forward to third base

12-09-02
Q: The weekend before Thanksgiving I got completely trashed and revealed something really personal about one of my best friends. “Sarah’s” secret spread around, and now she’s furious at whoever slipped. She has no idea it was me, and instead thinks it’s another friend of ours. I feel so guilty, but I’m terrified if I admit the truth to Sarah she won’t want to be friends with me anymore. What do I do? Do I tell her it was me who slipped? Or do I just keep my mouth shut and let someone else take the blame? ~Guilty
Q: One of my best friend’s boyfriends who I’ve always had a crush on recently came onto me after my friend passed out in her apartment. We have a class together and he’s always been pretty flirty with me and now I’m scared of what might happen next time we’re alone. I know she’s one of my best friends and that I should be loyal to her and respect her relationship, but I really like this guy and I don’t even want to think what might happen next time if we both get really drunk. So what do I do, tell her that her boyfriend came onto me or ask her boyfriend to break up with her so we can be together? ~The Other Woman

01-13-03
Q: While on a school trip abroad, three of my friends fell for the same guy. Because he goes to school on the East Coast as well, each of them had thought about the possibility of dating him. None of them wants to give him up (even though I’m not sure that he knows they are planning to date him) and now they aren’t speaking to each other. What do I do? They expect me to help. I’m stuck in the middle and don’t know what to say without losing one of my friends. What should I say to them? ~Cornered
Q: My girlfriend and I recently took our relationship to the next level. I really care about her but I want to be safe. The only problem is that she doesn’t like using condoms because she swears that sex is better without. I don’t know if she is on birth control and the fear of getting her pregnant is too much pressure. How do I talk to her about this without coming across as a prudish boyfriend? ~Possible Prude

01-21-03
Question: “Mike” and “Sarah” and I are all best friends and have always hung out together. But now it’s all about to change. Mike recently admitted to me how much he liked me, but hadn’t said anything sooner because he was scared of losing our friendship. I told him I’d been feeling the same way, and now the only problem is how do we tell Sarah that we’re dating? We’re scared she’ll feel like the third wheel and won’t want to hang out with us anymore. Any ideas? ~Stuck

01-27-03
Q: I had the perfect relationship with this guy for awhile – we were crazy about each other and would do anything to make the other happy. So when he asked to borrow money for making spring break plans, I automatically loaned it to him. Then, he dumped me out of the blue a few weeks later, and now I’m out almost $500. What do I do now? How do I get my money back? ~Broke

02-03-03
Q: I met this girl a couple weeks ago who is really smart and has a great personality. But she’s not pretty at all, so I’m wondering is it possible to date someone that you are embarrassed to be with in public? ~Not-so-Hot Girlfriend
Q: I’m a girl but I have a lot of male friends and find that I get along much better with guys than girls. But, when I meet a new guy that I decide I just want to be friends with (I really do, I’m not just saying that), they sometimes get offended as if I played them. I’m afraid this guy will think of me as a tease because I call him to hang out all the time but we don’t hook up. I realize I don’t owe him anything and I don’t think I’m sending the wrong signals. How can I make sure he gets the right message? ~All Buddy-Buddy

02-10-03
Q: I’ve been dating these two girls casually for a while, and now I don’t know what to do about Valentine’s Day. I know both of them expect me to take them out, but because that isn’t really possible, what do I do? ~A Guy
Q: There’s a girl I have a good friends-with-benefits relationship going on, with whom but now that Valentine’s Day is coming up, I’m wondering if she expects me to do something with her. I don’t know how to handle the situation without messing things up. I mean, I’d like to hang out with her and hook up with her this Friday, but I don’t want to give the wrong impression. Then again, I really do like this girl and I don’t want her to think I don’t care by purposefully not making plans. Advice? ~Confused
Q: My roommate recently broke up with her boyfriend and she’s been really upset ever since. She cries all the time and just mopes around the apartment. Now she wants to spend Valentine’s Day with me, just hanging out and ordering in, but the other day the guy I’ve had a crush on forever finally asked me out to dinner – on the 14th. I don’t want to upset her, but I really want to go out on this date. What do I say so she doesn’t become even more depressed? ~Stuck

02-18-03
Q: I’m in my first serious relationship with a guy, and lately, every time we hook up he offers to go down on me. Actually, it’s more like he insists on performing oral sex, but this idea totally repulses me. I don’t mind doing it to him, but I am way too embarrassed and disgusted to let him do it to me, so I’ve been telling him I’ve had my period for the last two weeks. Is that weird? What do I tell him so I don’t offend him? ~Grossed Out
Q: I don’t really like to drink: I’m not against it or anything, but it always makes me sick. Problem is, my friends think it’s weird that a guy doesn’t like drinking and so they’re always trying to get me drunk. How do I tell them to back off without looking weak or stupid? ~No Kegs

02-24-03
Q: Things have been getting more intimate with a new boyfriend of mine and recently he started asking about my past love life. I tried to change the subject whenever he would bring it up, but this only made him more curious. Finally, when he insisted that whatever I’d done wouldn’t matter to him, he just wanted me to be honest, I reluctantly told him that I’ve slept with seven people – four more than he has. Now he’s been acting weird around me and doesn’t really seem to be in the mood to hook up any more. I have no idea what to do next. I really like this guy and I don’t want to lose him. Did I do the wrong thing? ~Not a Slut
Q: I think my best friend has developed an eating disorder. She has lost a lot of weight and never really eats anymore. When our group of friends meets for dinner at J Street, she will either say she isn’t hungry or she already ate. When she does buy food, it is usually a salad and she just picks at it. I want to approach her about it, but I don’t want to upset her and push her away. What should I do? ~Worried Friend

03-03-03
Every so often, Chick and Dick go on a field trip to help broaden their horizons in the world of love, sex, friendship and relationships. This weekend found them at Absolute Pleasure Production’s documentary-style play “The Vagina Monologues,” directed by Allison Curtis and featuring various female students telling stories from Eve Ensler’s Broadway hit about their vaginas.

03-10-03
Q: I met this really great guy, “John,” who’s incredibly hot and funny, at a party. We talked and danced and traded numbers at the end of the night, but when I told my friends about him, they all said he was a total player. Now I don’t know what to do, because John has called and asked to hang out and I think we really clicked, but my friends keep telling me to steer clear because he’ll only break my heart. I know they mean well, but I really like this guy and I’ve been in the middle of a dry spell. What do you say? ~Torn
Q: I had what I thought was a perfect first date with a girl one of my friends introduced me to. I’ve been told that a kiss usually seals the deal for a second date, and so when we kissed at the end of the night, I thought I was in. But now it’s been like a week and a half and I’ve been trying to reach her, but her roommate always picks up and she hasn’t returned the message I left on her cell. Is she completely blowing me off and I’m too blind to realize it, or should I wait a little longer before moving on? ~Frustrated

04-10-03
Q:I have been friends this girl for a while now, and I recently realized that I like her. But she is content being friends. I don’t want to do anything to ruin our friendship, but I want to move it to the next level, what do I do? ~Unsure

04-14-03
Question: My boyfriend and I are both going abroad next year, but while he’s only going away for a semester, I’m going to be gone all year. In the meantime, we’ve been trying to figure out what to do about our relationship. I really don’t want to break up with him, but I know from personal experience that long-distance relationships are difficult. What is your take on open relationships, like we’re a couple when we’re together but otherwise we can see other people? ~Confused

04-21-03
Q: Everyone tells me I give good blowjobs, but I’m not so sure that I do. How can I know if I do? ~Curious
Q: My girlfriend hangs out with her ex, “John,” a lot. They broke up at the beginning of this year, but they had been together for a while and I am the first boyfriend she’s had since him. She tells me he is her best friend and while I know she was the one to end their relationship, I can’t help but think she might still have feelings for him and I get extremely jealous whenever I know they are going to hang out. I really like her, but her “friendship” with John is driving me nuts! What do I do? ~Suspicious
Q: I am currently in a serious relationship with my boyfriend and we have been together for about a year. But lately I have been having numerous sexual dreams about another guy. I’ve never been sexually attracted to this other guy, but he has been my friend for a really long time. What do these dreams mean? Am I just confused or is this a sign that my current relationship is fading? ~Dreamer

04-28-03
Question: I’m a freshman and I’m getting nervous that the year is almost over. I’ve already established a nice circle of friends, but there are still other people whom I would like to get to know better before school ends. I don’t want to lose touch over the summer and have to start from scratch with them next year, so how do I cement these friendships in the next couple of weeks without looking too desperate? -Vacationbound

The Hatchet has disabled comments on our website. Learn more.