Battle of the sexes

Q: I moved off campus with these two girls who I used to be friends with. But things have changed now and we don’t get along anymore, and I am really unhappy about it. I’m almost never at the apartment, just so I can avoid them, but I signed a lease. What do I do? -Junior who wants out

CHICK: If you’re really that miserable, then I’m sure your roommates aren’t too happy with the situation, either. It should come as no surprise, then, when you pull them aside and tell them that you’d like to move out. Explain how it’s obvious for all of you that things aren’t working out. To make sure they’re OK with you breaking your lease, tell them that you won’t move out until they find someone to take your place (so they won’t have trouble meeting this month’s rent) and use that lull period to find a new place of your own. Put up advertisements, ask around and hopefully soon you’ll find some takers. Explain the circumstances to your landlord and that, even though you will be leaving your lease, you’ve already found someone to take your place. If you’re unsure of the exact legal implications involved with breaking a lease, call up old mom and pop and ask to speak to their lawyer. Make sure you understand your rights and responsibilities and come armed with this information during your meeting. Make it clear from the start that you want this to be as easy and civil a transition as possible. If your happiness is at stake, there’s no time to wait, so get started!

DICK: So the girls you live with suck at life. That’s a tough situation. My first suggestion is get a boyfriend, then you can spend a lot of your time at his place. That would give you a lot of benefits. You would be in the room less because you would have fun activities to do when you don’t want to be there. Also, when you get really annoyed with them, you can sexile them and get a little vengeance out. If they are not easy to sexile, you can just keep them up with a little noise. They can’t blame you for having fun, and it would give you satisfaction in a couple ways. My second suggestion is to see about getting out of the lease. If that is really not an option, then maybe get kicked out and violate the lease. You will probably lose the security deposit, but if they are really that bad then it’s worth it. A huge party is a good option – at least it will benefit your friends. Just make sure you won’t get arrested. I do not suggest arson or urinating in the halls – that is just unnecessary.

Q: I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a month now. He’s a great guy and I really like him a lot, but lately I’ve been debating about whether or not to break up with him. Whenever we go to parties he always ends up drinking too much and embarrassing me in front of all our friends with his drunken antics. He’s gotten so out of control that I don’t like going out with him anymore, and when I finally talked to him about this, he only got defensive and just said he was having fun and deserves a break after a week of studying. So should I break up with him? Talk to him again? I’m losing patience. -Annoyed Girlfriend

CHICK: You should definitely nip this problem in the bud before you grow more resentful, he grows more defensive and the whole thing blows up in your face. Because that dreaded “we need to talk” won’t win you any brownie points, begin your next talk with him with something less suspicious-sounding. If you two are alone and he mentions a party he’d like to go to this weekend, admit that you’d like to go too, but that you’re a little hesitant. I guarantee he’ll bite the bait and ask why, and when he does you should tell him again, more forcefully this time, that his drunken behavior upsets you. People tend to remember the first and last things you say, so I recommend starting and ending your talk with a compliment (“You know how much fun I have with you . “) and sandwiching more of the critical stuff in the middle. Reinforce the fact that you like him a lot, but that you really don’t feel comfortable going out with him when he drinks so much. Tell himyou’re upset that he got so defensive last time you tried to discuss the situation. Then make sure that it is a discussion; maybe he got so defensive last time because he felt you were only lecturing him. If he is as great a guy as you say he is, he’ll understand and curb his drinking when you two go out. But if he only gets angry again and refuses to change or compromise, dump him. You deserve someone who will respect your feelings and with whom you can be comfortable.

DICK: Honestly, I have a tough time understanding your point of view because I’m probably a lot like the guy, but I’ll give it a whirl. The drunken moron is an essential part to a good evening – without it, people would have no point of reference to the party they attended. I understand you are embarrassed, but is he? If he is not and he has fun, then maybe you need to lighten up and have fun with him. Going out drinking is something some people take seriously; getting “completely out of control” is not easy. If you can’t admire his handy work, drink more and try to keep up or hitch a ride on the wagon to the high road. I’m thinking your social personalities might not mesh. At this rate, he might end up with a mistress at the parties and then you would just be the sober girlfriend. The drunkard is an important part of parties because without him, someone else would have to fill in. Think of what that poor girl would have to go through.

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