“That’s very funny, David, but you can’t joke your way through life,” teachers told Dave Barry in school.

The two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist and novelist opened his book-promoting speech at Lisner Auditorium last night by addressing the question of where he finds his ideas.
His answer – where he lives, sunny Miami, Fla.

“Many stories happen there that I contend never happen anywhere else,” he said at the event, sponsored by the Smithsonian Associates. “It’s the only place I’ve ever lived where the driver’s manual actually shows you how to give the finger.”

Barry said the Sunshine State lived up to its true motto during the 2000 elections.

“Florida, you can’t spell it without ‘duh,'” he joked.
His ideas for columns come a little differently since they are shorter than books and have no plot, he said.

“I get my ideas mostly from readers. They call me with stuff, e-mail me stuff and come to my house and throw stuff on my lawn,” he said.

Before reading an excerpt about relationships from his new book, “Tricky Business,” he commented on why men never ask for directions.
“No wonder why it takes one hundred million sperm to locate one female egg,” he said. “They’re all over by the pancreas going ‘it’s over here somewhere.”

The show sold out, according to Christine Cimino, public affairs manager for the Smithsonian Associates.

“We knew this was going to sell well, so we didn’t need to push it as much to people outside of the Smithsonian,” she said.

Only 35 to 40 tickets were offered to students, said senior Ben Posner, a Lisner employee.

Junior Blythe Purdin, a Mitchell Hall community facilitator, attended the show with seven freshmen in Quill Pen, a living and learning community for writers and book enthusiasts.

“I thought it’d be good for them because he is a witty, contemporary author who writes about everyday things,” she said. “When he said that he was always the class clown, it gives aspiring writers hope because it is a tough career to go into.”

Freshman Patrick Watkins, a member of Quill Pen, said his family always fights over the newspaper at home to read Barry’s columns.

“A lot of stuff he says, even if it’s totally off the wall, there’s some truth to it,” Watkins said. “He has a really cool style of leading you on and then throwing a bomb at you.”

Barry touched on political issues such as war strategies in Iraq.
“We fly a bomber on downtown Baghdad and we drop lawyers,” he said.
Barry used Oscar Mayer “weinermobiles” as an example of the technological competition between the U.S. and Iraq.

“This country leads the world in weinermobile technology, although I believe Iraq has the plans,” he said, in reference to the Oscar Mayer advertising vehicle.

He also touched upon the irony of Congress holding hearings on corruption in corporate America.

“The news is a wonderful source of humor,” Barry said. “Enron and Worldcom being lectured on responsibility by the U.S. Congress, that was a hoot.”

Members of the audience said Barry’s performance was good stress relief.

“It was a good night for humor in the Washington area after the shootings this week,” said Bethesda resident Diane Stein.

Freshmen Jim McIsaac, a member of Quill Pen, was unfamiliar with Dave Barry before the hour and half performance.

“I heard he was a good comedian and came for a good laugh,” said McIsaac. “After seeing him, his new book is definitely going on my Christmas list.”