Q: How do I act toward my roommate from last year (whom I hate) when I see her this year for the first time? I have no interest in pretending to like her, but I feel like if I totally ignore her and avoid her then I will be even more of a bitch.
-Not Friendly

CHICK: It’s fine to admit that you don’t like someone, and kudos for you for not pretending to like this girl if you really don’t. Hating her doesn’t mean you can’t be civil, however. You just have to walk the fine line between ignoring her and being overly friendly to compensate for your real feelings towards her. So next time you see her pretend she’s some annoying relative and be courteous. Smile, ask how she’s doing, nod and then leave. Tell her that you’re meeting a friend, you have a class to go to, you’ve got to wash your hair, etc. Trust me, if you’re polite but brusque she’ll get the point and your future run-ins will probably be limited to just a passing smile.

DICK: So your roommate from last year sucks, what do you care if she doesn’t like you even more now? If you are one of those polite, sweet caring types then maybe give her a quick wave passing on the street if eye contact is unavoidable. If she corners you at a party act drunk, and I mean, completely plastered. Chances are she will walk away because no one likes talking to sloppy drunks. You say you don’t want to be a “bitch,” and I appreciate that, but if your ex-roommate is such a tool that you don’t want to talk to her then maybe its time you finally throw down.

Q: I’m very self-conscious when getting intimate with girls, mostly because of my hairy back and buttocks. Is this important to a lover or am I just being silly? -Fuzzy Wuzzy

CHICK: I know this is easier said than done, but I really wouldn’t worry about your excessive hair. It’s probably not half as bad as you think, and most girls have so many hang-ups that whoever you’re with is probably stressing about her “thunder thighs,” or her “Buddha belly” or the fact that she doesn’t remotely resemble Giselle Bundchen, you get the idea. So keep in mind that however embarrassed you are, whomever you’re with is most likely suffering from insecurities of her own. Just relax and have fun when you’re together, and hopefully soon your hairy back will be the last thing on your mind because trust me, it will probably be the last thing on her mind, too.

DICK: Think about it this way – once you get a lady friend into bed and you are on top, when the blanket and sheets fall off your back won’t get cold. Not to mention your roommate can’t be like “dude I saw your ass last night when you were throwing a hump into that girl.” It also can give the lady a little something to hold onto in some of those more challenging positions. If you’re really concerned, I suggest long sleeve shirts with collars. By the time she realizes you are more hairy than a wildebeest she will already love your smile and personality. OK, so I just assumed a lot, but whatever, we will give you the benefit of the doubt. You could always go with the Nair option and make yourself smoother than a freshly waxed floor. Honestly, I think the ladies love the back hair, it’s sexy. The butt hair, though, I seriously doubt. So hang in there, keep the confidence, keep it well brushed and the ladies will flock soon enough.

Advice on life, love and relationships
E-mail dilemmas to [email protected]