Whinos: Old people rule

Old people get a lot of flack around GW. University Overlord Stealin Your Tracksofland ridicules us publicly, students want us to die off and our children, grand-children, great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren are ashamed to be associated with us. I’m writing to request a little respect.

I demand respect because I’m old and wise. I’m not like these young college kids who run around yelling in our neighborhood streets about nothing. When I get out my bull horn and wake the neighbors, I’m out there fighting for the people who are too damn old to be out there with me or give a shit but can’t remember that they do. You have to admit, it takes some big cajones to fight a building that’s already been built. Sure, they say the war’s over once the concrete’s been poured, but look at all the great battles we’ve had. I’m like Don frickin’ Quixote fighting windmills out here.

I am proud to be a member of the Forever Bitchin Association, and I support our esteemed representatives, the Adversary Neighborhood Communists. So be sure that if this Elliott School thing doesn’t pan out in our favor, we’ve got more gripes for you. Like Overlord Tracksofland’s middle name. Why the hell do we have to hear it every time he’s introduced? Every time he signs a letter telling us to eat shit and die, there are those three damn names. It’s just another representation of the imperialism that is killing our community.

Have you seen my medication?

-Damnold Pillar
neighborhood heretic

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