Just want to give a big shout-out to all my devoted fans at GW who still believe in me through all my troubles. Life is decent here. The food ain’t that bad, but the guys have gone nuts finding new ways to use broom handles. Your fan mail has helped me through it.

I hear life on campus just ain’t as exciting without me around. A coach who throws journalists off his bus just can’t add up to the great entertainment me and Tom’s team provided. We had a lot of fun while it lasted. And I thought gun fights, prostitutes and phone scams were only in the movies . ahh, I’ll miss ya GW.

-Athrilla Convict
former crack supplier for men’s
basketball