What’s all this fuss about sweatshops? Let’s talk economics.

The clothes we wear are cheap because of sweatshops. Yeah, yeah – little people in other countries work hours a day under terrible conditions. So do we at The Snatchet, and we don’t complain.

You want to buy American? Then do it. Pay the price. Bitch and moan and talk about terrible value.

Kathy Lee Gifford had it right. She wanted to sell cheap clothes in Wal-Mart. How did she maximize her profit margin? She went to a little Latin American country and got more bang for her buck (coincidentally, so did her husband).

Sweatshop opponents are just barking up the wrong tree. You see, if you work at a sweatshop, the factory is your home; so technically you are never homeless.

Yeah, it’s bad when children work, but somebody’s got to take care of the family when mom is operating heavy machinery all day. Injuries, shminjuries. And plus they’re better off making money at the sweatshop than sitting in school all day doing nothing. Plus, their work teaches them the time-honored American tradition of learning the value of a hard-earned dollar.

The real problem is this word “sweatshops.” The Health and Wellness Center is a sweatshop. But the other supposed “sweatshops” are just nice, little places where people live together, work together, eat together and join hands for the common good. We call that a love shack.

The low, low prices Americans have become accustomed to from poor labor practices ought to continue. So why not continue to support sweatshop workers? Tell them you care by voting with your hard-earned dollars at the mall. Certainly Wal-Mart will want to continue to support the little people of the little nations. Bottom lines must be met, and who better to help than little workers and big-spending Americans?

Everybody wins with sweatshops – we get low prices with cheap labor and they get jobs. We guarantee it beats fucking tending sheep. What the hell are American workers doing working in unskilled labor anyway?

Incinerate that flannel shirt hanging in the tool shed behind the garage and say hello to Mr. Information-led economy. Working in factories is simply beneath America now that we are the only global power. Who wants to slave all day for five bucks an hour when our international economic partners are willing to slave away like team players?