The Super Bowl isn’t just about football. And as a sportswriter, I could have watched this game and given the same mindless analysis you could read anywhere. Instead, I thought I’d analyze the other stuff. Some pre-game, some halftime and some commercials. So here it is, the thoughts inside my head.
5:40 p.m. – They are reading the Declaration of Independence on the pre-game. It is a montage of athletes, people dressed up as the founding fathers and others, each speaking a line or two. They had a Ben Franklin impersonator in Freedom Hall, followed by Jim Brown, who has been arrested several times and imprisoned for domestic abuse. Feel the patriotism.
6:06 – Paul McCartney is singing in the pre-game. I wonder if I can become one of those girls dancing in a circle with streamers and spandex next to the stage . how do you apply for that gig -is it tough to get?.I don’t have great rhythm but my butt would look great in the outfit.
6:26 – Mariah Carey singing the national anthem. Biggest surprise so far – no cleavage. Oh yeah,
6:46 – E-Trade with an outstanding parody of how dumb Super Bowl commercials can be. Plus, is there anything funnier than a monkey in a green sequin suit? Reminds me of Richard Simmons.
6:52 – A Pepsi commercial of Britney through the decades. I wonder what it’s like to be the object of affection for the entire male sex. The opposite would be a man made entirely of chocolate. The girlfriend would certainly leave me for the man of chocolate.
7:02 – A Fedex commercial that I’ve seen before!!!! What’s up with that? 2,000 boxes of ziti (I watch Sopranos. That equals $2 million) for 30 seconds and they use an old commercial? Appalling.
7: 22 – A new Brisk commercial with the puppet community striking. Included is Pat O’Brien, who is the main man on Access Hollywood. What many our age don’t remember is that O’Brien used to be the anchor of the CBS Sports Desk. Has there ever been a larger fall in the journalism community? How does Pat O’Brien even look at himself in the mirror? He went from reporting on Michael Jordan to interviewing Justin Timberlake. Good career move . for a 13 year old girl.
7:28 – A funny side note. There have been several commercials for mlife. However to find out what mlife is, you must go to mlife.com. We tried, and the website is down. The mlife people must be msoiling themselves.
8:15 – Halftime. If it was just U2 singing, it would have been good. If it was just a tribute to Sept. 11, it would have been good. But the two combined seemed wrong to me. What that banner should have been accompanied by was silence. Not U2 and a bunch of screaming people. Maybe it was just me, but it seemed disrespectful.
8:39 – A commercial with lots of people’s belly buttons. (Turns out this is what mlife is, an AT&T wireless service. But that’s beside the point.) There was NOT ONE outty belly button in the whole commercial. I really believe that outty people have replaced lefties as the outcast of American society. Tomorrow I will make sure none of my friends have an outty. Gotta stay with the times.
9:27 – Quiznos just had an outstanding commercial. Basically, you can choose a gross sub, or a Quiznos sub. But if you choose the Quiznos, you might get your hand cut off. This makes me wonder, is there any food worth taking that chance? Yeah there is. Anything from J-street, baby. I mean, that food is so good. It doesn’t taste like a composite of everything from the Marvin Center garbages. No, it tastes really, really good. Definitely worth the risk.
9:50 – A preview for the next Boston Public was just shown. This week, a bomb scare. As my girlfriend said, “That must be the worst neighborhood in all of America.” Every week, a scandal. Every week, good looking and young teachers. I hate that show.
Well, it was one of the most exciting Super Bowls ever. As for the rest, it was a lot like New Year’s. A lot of hype, but pretty disappointing. Hope you enjoyed my thoughts.
