I recently returned from a semester abroad. I met this guy there, and we became close friends. I’m also really having a hard time readjusting to life back at GW. I miss my host country so much and this guy, too. What can I do?
-My Heart’s Abroad
A re-entry group should definitely be created on campus for students just returning from studying abroad. Unfortunately until someone creates one, dealing with the “real world” of schoolwork, commitments and friends is just going to take some time getting used to again. Talk to friends who have gone abroad in the past and ask them how they coped with getting back into the swing of things. Most likely, they are or were feeling the same things and would love to talk about it with someone who understands. Besides that, it’s just going to take some patience.
As for this guy, there’s not much you can do about that either. You had to realize you were going to be leaving at some point, and even though it doesn’t make the leaving any better at least you were somewhat prepared for it. Keep in touch through e-mail or letters, or if you have tons of money to spare, call him. There’s always Spring Break, so plan a trip to see him, and remember that summer isn’t that far away. If you can’t bear to be away from him by the end of the semester, plan to spend the summer back in your host country. With time things will get better and you’ll stop missing him as much as you do right now.
Patience is the key.
I met this really talented, attractive musician last weekend when I saw his band play. We flirted and had definite chemistry, and he told me he plays solo at another place once a week and that I should come. I was looking up stuff on the band and found out he’s 33. I’m only 20. Am I asking for trouble here?
-Tempted by Trouble
You are obviously playing with fire when you start dating a guy that much older than you. Chemistry or not, you are flirting with danger. An older guy who plays in a band obviously has a really nice appeal, but the truth of the matter is that even if you get in a relationship with him it’s going to end up going nowhere.
You are in two very separate places. While you are worrying about your next exam and which party to go to, he might be thinking about bills and possibly marriage.
On the other hand, this guy is also in a band. It is a big possiblity you are not the first or last girl he asks to come see him perform. He might be using his musician “card” to get you andgirls interested in him. Aspiring musicians tend to rush into the “rockstar” persona and lifestyle, and he might be into that. You need to be weary of that.
If you want to pursue him, nobody is going to be able to stop you. But think about what you are getting into before you jump headfirst into it. In the end you are going to do what you want to do, and if you decide to go to the concert you’re making your decision right there. Just be aware that you might just be adding stress into your life that might not even be worth it. If you think he is cute and plays good music, enjoy his shows, but keep yourself in the audience and off the stage.