I’m considering moving to be closer to my boyfriend of six months. I’ve always thought it was a bad idea to make major life decisions based on someone you’re dating, but I have other reasons for moving. Somehow I know that this time it’s right, and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Is it still unwise to make these kinds of decisions so early in my life and our relationship?
-Close at Heart
Your thinking is correct for people our age: Never relocate your whole life to be with a significant other, especially for a boyfriend or girlfriend you’ve only been with for six months. You’re risking a lot for something so uncertain, but if you feel there are other reasons to up and move, then go ahead and do it.
Many people say they have “never felt this way about anyone before.” You have to remember that relationships can change, and they can end. If you decide to move just to be with him, you’re putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. Think about what would happen if you broke up. What would you do? Are there opportunities besides him where you are going? Are there people out there you can lean on if something goes wrong with you two?
If it is meant to be, it will most likely withstand the distance, and everything will work out without you having to relocate. It all comes down to what you want to do, though, not what he wants, so be sure before you agree to this life-changing decision.
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I am dating this girl I really like, but she told me something that shocked me. She said she had slept with a lot of guys, almost 50. I feel like I should break up with her because of that. Should I?
-She Gets Around
Wow, 50 guys. She’s been a busy girl, huh? Seriously though, what is it about her confession that really bothers you? Some guys tend to feel inferior to their girlfriend sexually if the woman has had more partners than them. This is a ridiculous notion, because more sexual partners does not necessarily mean more sex or, more importantly, good sex.
The fact that she revealed her past to you shows that she trusts you. It seems she was not bragging about these sexual rendezvous. Strange as it seems, you might consider taking this step in your relationship as a compliment to how much she trusts you and let it grow from there.
This does not seem to be a cause for a breakup, but the thing you need to figure out is if you can get past your insecurities and forget about what she’s done before. Let the past be. If you can’t, then you should let go to her because you’ll always be holding these feelings against her, and your relationship won’t be able to progress. If you can move past this, then the only thing you have to worry about is how safe she was with these different guys and if she’s been tested. Testing for STD’s together should be your first move.
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A few months ago I met this guy through friends and we started hanging out. Recently we started hooking up, and I don’t know what to make of it. I think he likes me, but he doesn’t seem to make an effort to show me that he does. I’ve called him and it takes him days to return my messages. I’m too afraid to confront him. What should I do?
-Waiting and Wondering
Can we say commitment-phobe? Your man doesn’t seem to know what he wants out of this thing – friends with benefits or a relationship. Other possibilities are that he’s just not a phone person or that he has called but gets your answering machine and doesn’t leave messages so he doesn’t have to wait for your call in return.
There are a million maybes, and you’ve probably analyzed the situation to no end. You should confront him if it’s really bothering you. It seems scary, but he is only person able to answer your question. Otherwise, you’re just going to have to sit back and deal with the situation. Most women don’t like leaving things up in the air, and it doesn’t sound like you do either. Confronting him will not only get you your answer, but it will also force him to decide what he wants if he doesn’t know.