The Pleasure Place
Tuesday, Jan. 15
7 p.m.

The scene: a very windy night in Georgetown with a couple of friends. The destination: some sort of sex shop. The mission: to find the perfect and funniest gag gift idea.

Now, let me begin by saying that I am defifinitely not an expert when it comes to shopping for the kind of items that are found in a sex shop. In fact, I’m not even sure if I am mature enough to handle this kind of shopping experience. This is definitely not what you learn about in a seventh grade sex-ed class. I can’t even remember how many times I uttered the phrases “ewww” and “this just doesn’t seem natural.” But, as the strong and brave journalist that I am, I owned up to the challenge and went where no angelic sophomore had been before: The Pleasure Place.

After passing a middle-aged couple on their way out of the shop and uncontrollably letting out a slightly audible and immature snicker, my two friends and I walked into the store. Upon entering the Pleasure Place, I was confronted by an entire wall covered with shelves of various potions, lotions and tonics that all ensure the maximum amount of pleasure. I am thinking that edible body paint would make an excellent gag gift for a more artistic friend. But then the ever-popular strawberry motion lotion that promises hours of “hot fun” shouldn’t be ruled out either.

I never knew that sex shops had such a large array of interesting and provacative clothing. How funny would it be to see a friend open up her birthday present only to find a bra made completely out of red fringe? Or what about crotchless underwear? The Pleasure Place has an array of pairs in various colors and fabrics, including vinyl and studded leather. At any rate, a variety of corsets, lingerie and even rather erotic nurse uniforms could be found in the store. All of which would make for a funny gag gift that would elicit some sort of surprised or shocked reaction from its recipient.

In the back of the store, there is a section dedicated to handcuffs, whips and chains – not to mention a supply of leather accessories. Barbarella, anyone?

There are also many gag gifts that could be bought for our male pals. I had never seen so many kits and contraptions for enlarging well, themselves, to put it discreetly.

Although I tried to act mature during this excursion, I just simply could not contain my laughter when I found a box of “Pecker Pacifiers.” What a clever use of alliteration, I thought to myself as I pointed them out to my companions on this trip. I didn’t know what they are used for, and I am still unsure of their purpose. It was at this point that the two clerks that were working at the Pleasure Place began to eye us suspiciously, as if they knew I wasn’t going to buy anything.

I had honestly never seen so many objects whose sole purpose was sexual gratification in one place before. Not only was this night an education in the art of gag-gift shopping, it was also quite the education in sexual practices. I’m not really sure how necessary my newfound information is.

Although I left the Pleasure Place empty handed, I had a mind full of embarrassing gift ideas that I could shock my friends with on their birthdays or on future holidays.