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The GW Hatchet

AN INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SERVING THE GW COMMUNITY SINCE 1904

The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Officials name senior vice president, chief of staff
By Fiona Riley, Assistant News Editor • March 26, 2024

WEB EXCLUSIVE: BAR BELLE

JR’s and Cobalt
Where: 17th Street in Dupont Circle
Getting in: carded at the door
Prices: pretty cheap
Food: nope
Dancing: yup
Pluses: hot boys

After a brief hiatus from her quest for skeaze, sleaze and even more scandal, the Bar Belle has officially returned and is now back in action; stronger than ever and with a fundamental need to socialize and drink. It’s good to be back.

Because of this long respite, it was felt that there was a necessity to come back with a bang. So, with that in mind, the Bar Belle set out on Tuesday night to Dupont Circle to witness her first drag queen race.

Because of this momentous event, the need to look absolutely fabulous was a necessity. The apartment was scoured for rainbow attire, but sadly the only item that was unearthed was a roommate’s dirty Twister shirt. Luckily, a blue shirt with a bedazzled San Francisco was found and deemed just right, and the Bar Belle headed into the night excited for the novelty of the potential events that may take place.

Unfortunately, there was a slight confusion about how to get to Dupont Circle. In other words, the Bar Belle got lost. (Hey, it was dark out) The only bad thing about missing the races was not getting to see the big spill one of the queens took during the parade.

The star of this great fall was met at JR’s, a predominantly gay bar on 17th Street. His name was Ron and his boyfriend explained that he had won the race for the past two years . he didn’t seem to mind the spill. Ron was in high spirits despite the scrapes on his knee.

JR’s was packed, although the Bar Belle was informed that it normally isn’t. Sunday nights are especially great because of the $2 rail drinks. People didn’t seem to mind that it wasn’t a Sunday night, and the mood was jovial despite the higher prices. Accompanied by a few male friends, this girl felt at ease with the crowd of men. All the boys were incredibly gorgeous, and even greater was how much they all liked to discuss their good looks. So while this Belle explained to a group of men how she achieved her perfectly styled coif (the secret is all about hair products and tools) one of her friends became Mr. Popularity. Perhaps he was so well liked because of his obvious straightness.

Some of the bar patrons said they have an intuitive sense called “straight-dar,” and there are a few obvious aspects to a straight man. For starters, this particular boy got his friend free water from the bar, whereas a gay man would get his friend a $3 bottled water. Secondly, this boy was wearing flip flops . and the Bar Belle learned that any self respecting gay man would never wear flip flops to a bar.

The night continued at Cobalt, a small club up the street from JR’s. Tuesday night was retro night, a to a new friend Brady told me, so the troops were rallied and marched onward up 17th.

Cobalt is way cool. The bartenders don’t wear shirts, and they are cut like racehorses. The music was ’80s hits and every man there could rival ‘NSync’s Lance, Joey or Justin on the dance floor. This Belle was a total hit and in high demand as a dance partner. It was great fun. Best of all, the room wasn’t filled with the usual dirty old men and skanky boys who usually target this lovely lady. Instead, she was able to cut loose and have a great time without worries of being groper. That is, except one man, who said he would be willing to go the other way for one night if it was with the Belle.

As the Bar Belle left for the night, one friend commented that he realized how it must be for girls. The whole night he was working it for the good of the team and scored many complimentary cocktails from some very handsome men.

Yup, it is hard work being a lady. It was nice having the night off.

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