Burying the Hatchet

I’ve had a crush on my teaching assistant since the first day of classes this semester. We’ve always flirted a little, and now that classes are over I’ve had a desire to call him and pursue something. He isn’t that much older than I am and I can’t think of any reasons why I shouldn’t call but I’m so nervous. Please help.

-T.A. trouble

What’s there to be nervous about? If there has been a good rapport between the two of you and you think he was flirting back and all of it was not just a manifestation of you mind, then go for it. What’s the worst thing that can happen, you get turned down? Even then at least you will know you went for it.

* * *

I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. We have been going out for about six months and lately she has been very secretive about what she does in her spare time. I don’t want to confront her because if I am wrong it could completely damage the relationship and I do trust her.

Then the other day I was looking for one of my textbooks I left in her room and I found a condom wrapper on the floor under her bed. I know it wasn’t from us because we don’t use that brand or type of condom. After I found that wrapper I started looking for other hints that there might be another man in the picture, but I didn’t find anything. What do I do? What do I say?

-Beat the cheat

Do you really trust her . because if you did you would not be writing in.

Let’s review. One, she has been secretive. Wow what a tip off, I’ve never known any women to be secretive.

Two, you found ONE condom wrapper under her bed that you claim is not yours. Possibly if students lived in posh residence halls where there still was cleaning services I would be worried, but the fact remains I doubt any student ever cleans under their bed and the wrapper you found could have been lying there since 1821.

Three, you found no other evidence. That’s it, she is guilty!

Just relax. You said you trust her, so actually try doing it.

* * *

One of my good friends and I had a falling out a few weeks ago. Her birthday is coming up next week and I still feel somewhat obligated to buy her a present. Am I crazy? Thinking back to my birthday, she did not get me a present and I do not want to still be friends with her, but if I don’t get her anything I’ll feel bad.

-Present predicament

You said you don’t like the girl anymore and do not want to be her friend. Then why are you still seeking approval from her by giving her a birthday present.

Giving the birthday present is only symbolic of a greater issue. What are you trying to gain by getting this ex-friend a present? If you are thinking it will make you the bigger person and puts you on top, the minute the friend calls and thanks you she takes back the reins in the relationship.

The friendship is over so keep it that way. Take the extra $20 you would spend on the present and go buy yourself some something nice to help you from feeling “bad.”

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