Students have complained about a user of AOL Instant Messenger who is harassing female students. The culprit, whose screen name is BigStudSJT69, claims to be a GW administrator.

“He’s a creep!” said junior Julie Hoolie, whose screen name is SororityChickGDub. “He IMed me out of nowhere and wanted to know what I was wearing. Yuck!”

“Yeah, he was like, `yo baby, let’s cyber. I’m horny,’ and all this stuff,” said freshman Kim Booger, whose IM name is SexyPradaGurl. “I told the AOL authorities, but I don’t know if they did anything.”

“We’ve had numerous complaints about this person,” said Lameo Smellyhead, AOL Vice President for Messaging Abuse. “While we can’t give out his name because of privacy concerns, he lives in Northwest Washington, D.C. in a big mansion and works at a local university.”

Students harassed by the user can “warn” him using a button on the IM window. Warning causes the user to have to wait between messages.

“I warned him up to 100%, but he kept messaging me about how he wanted to smell my feet and stuff. Then I blocked him,” Hoolie said.

“Yes, blocking is one way to deal with rude people,” Smellyhead said.

However, BigStudSJT69 seems to have other screen names.

“Yeah, after I blocked him, somebody named RichOldDude420 IMed me saying the same gross stuff,” junior Allison Longislander said. “I think it was the same guy.”

The Useless Police Department was called on one occasion, but the evidence was inconclusive.

“While University President Steamy Jiz Trouserbulge does have Instant Messenger, and his secretary reports that he spends eight hours a day using it, the only name we saw on his computer was GWMoneyTakerMan,” said UPD officer Bustkids Fornoreason. “And so many administrators chat on AOL for hours everyday, it could be anyone.”

All administrators except for one refused to comment.

“It wasn’t me,” said GW Vice President for Semi-Jamaican Music Shaggy Boombastic.

-Drunk like a Wise Man