Ball game breaks out during fight

A co-ed pick-up basketball game turned ugly Friday when several players of the “We play for Daniel Soares’ release from a Brazilian jail” team became involved in a scuffle with the “Larry `Tex’ Silverman does not reside in Boca during the winter” squad.

Tensions reached their max when players turned on their own teammates. “Larry `Tex’ Silverman does not reside in Boca during the winter” guard Kel Vossi, also a member of the GW’s Sensationallybad dance team, appeared to elbow teammate Ghengis Cozbebuyinsex in the groin. Sources say Vossi became irritated by Cozbebuyinsex’s constant complaining about how fatigued he was.

“He kept telling me that he was sweaty and tired and that he wanted to hit the showers early for a blow,” Vossi said. “I was just mad as hell that he would act like such a pussy. I mean at least show some balls and play around for a little while.”

The altercation started when Samantha Amyam, wearing number 25 in honor of Daniel Soares and wearing an “I was alive for the Carrie Potter and Patrick McManus elections” pin, apparently headbutted Marcus Lundus, an Alaska native playing the two-guard for the “Larry Tex Silverman does not reside in Boca during the winter” squad.

“I was the best looking bench player for GW,” Amyam shouted.

“No you weren’t,” Lundus responded. “Rasheed Hazzard was.”

As a melee ensued, members of the GW band, having just returned from 12 different Philadelphia venues, provided timely tunes for inspiration. Former GW cheerleaders Rina and Tina, distant relatives of strength and conditioning coach Guennadi Bratichko, led a crowd of over 1000 AD club members in a buff and blue chant. Leading the fan cheers were whole-hearted Colonial supporters Chris and Mary Jo, biology professor Steven S. and political science hotshot Lee Siegs.

Accompanied to the front row by Marshall Castle who, according to reports, wanted to jump the King, was former Tennessee head coach Jerry “Mean Green Okerlund.”

“Well, now that I don’t have no job, I wanted to travel the country and promote some action,” Okerlund said. “I knew I could find a fight or two scheduled for one fall, so here I am. Those GW kids don’t disappoint.”

Rooting for the “We play for Daniel Soares release from the Brazilian jail,” Green said there were signs of great potential and that that Thomas Jr. kid is awfully young to have such little hair.

“We could make that Roby woman his manager,” Okerlund said.

The melee was brought under control before halftime by a skinny red-headed GW police officer. No shots were fired – this year at least – as the game was not played outside Guthridge Hall.

During halftime of the co-ed game, Atlantic 10 commissioner Linda Brutus presented GW’s Vice President for Student and Academic Supportivebras Services Bobby C with the award for the conference’s best administrative YMCA performance. Mightbe Gargantuan, from the student activities and other fun things department was pissed.

As for the game, which raised $14.18 for the Dominator’s “anything you need I can getcha,” the “Larry Tex Silverman does not reside in Boca during the winter” squad took the game 61-47.

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