Web Column: Deconstructing Cupid

Did you ever notice how Valentine’s Day can be the best and worst holiday on the calendar? Well I did. If you have a significant other, Valentine’s Day falls under the “best” category. However, if you are single, read on.

The anticipation of Valentine’s Day has heightened the level of Public Displays of Affection (PDA). It seems like everywhere I turn, I see people holding hands, kissing, groping or fondling each other – it is nauseating.

Take the typical couple. They are unnecessarily codependent and devote every waking minute to one another. He holds her hand as he walks her to class, kisses her goodbye and then returns an hour and 15 minutes later to anxiously await her dismissal from the building. Is this really necessary? I mean, it is not like she is going to run out into oncoming traffic unless he holds her hand.

And is the dramatic “goodbye kiss” really needed? They passionately lock lips as if they were being filmed in a romance movie and create a spectacle of themselves making everyone around them start to wonder where the cameraman is. He will see her very soon. It is not like she is taking a trip half way around the world for the next six years.

Store windows are adorned with pink and red paper mache hearts and floating cupids. Florist’s stores are overflowing with blooming roses and plush bouquets. The bookstore has an entire greeting card section filled with a large selection of cards for Valentine’s Day. Romance movies are strategically released Friday, Feb. 16, for the perfect place to take your sweetheart. All of these flowers, cards, candy and stuffed animals are nauseating.

As if all the traditional hype is not enough, every time I sign online, I am greeted with yet another wonderful solicitation to “buy your sweetheart the perfect Valentine’s Day gift.” I am also frequently reminded that Valentine’s Day is Feb. 14 and I still have time to order flowers to send to that special someone. Even my television has become my enemy. It is almost as if it is transmitting subliminal messages. Every commercial has to do with either love or the upcoming holiday. Commercials for jewelry stores, romance movies, Victoria’s Secret, Romance perfume – it all has to do with the mush of Valentine’s Day.

Sure, my animosity is stemming from the fact that I have not yet been successful in my quest for Mr. Right, but most people my age are in a similar situation. Even if I were content and did have a significant other, I am not sure I would opt for the PDA’s or the careful delivery and pick up at each class.

So this Valentine’s Day, I will carry out my yearly tradition. I will be at dinner with my fellow single friends observing the couples and watching them suck face and drool over one another. It almost becomes a contest to see which ones get so hot and heavy that they need to get a room. If you are at a restaurant and you look over and see some curly-headed girl laughing and pointing, you will know it is me.

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