Stop asking friends who are usually too close to the problem to help. Family members are always a bust. There are no questions too embarrassing or off the wall. If you have questions, “Burying the hatchet” has the answers every Thursday. Email dilemmas to email@example.com
I have a huge crush on a guy I work with. I’m afraid to make a move because if I get rejected it will be so embarrassing because I will still have to see him every day. I have been working in my office since the beginning of the fall semester and part of me says if he hasn’t made a move by now he isn’t interested but as soon as I convince myself of that and start to get over him he says or does something that makes me start guessing again if there is interest on his side. Help?
-Infatuated office intern
Tough spot. It’s safe to say if he hasn’t made a move by now he isn’t going to. It’s time to be honest with yourself and move on. The little things he does that make you start to think he is interested in you are most likely self-indulging prophecies you are creating in your mind. If you want to be absolutely sure about the situation, you are going to have to make some moves. Be flirtatious, stay around later in the office to see if he needs any help or suggest going for lunch together. Most men do not pick up on women’s signals well, and even when they do, they still tend to be insecure. So you are going to have to be obvious and straightforward. As long as you don’t get too risky and bring him coffee in the buff or become overly dramatic about the whole thing, crawling into his office on your hands and knees confessing your love to him, you’ll be able to find out if he is really interested or not without it becoming
I’m stuck in a love triangle. Since the day I started going out with my boyfriend my best friend has hated him. The only reason my best friend hates my boyfriend is because my best friend and I were once a couple and he still has feelings for me. I don’t want to lose either of them. What do I do?
I know this situation well. The best solution is to talk with the best friend, be as blunt and harsh as you have to, but get the best friend to understand that you have no chance of getting back together and you will always just be friends. Get the two guys to hang out together and to get to like each other or at least be civil to each other. If they both care about you they will make the effort. If this doesn’t work and you are inevitably torn between the two, remember that if the best friend was a real best friend he wouldn’t try to destroy the relationship and happiness you’ve found with your boyfriend.