Top 10 places the Marvin Center armed robbers are hiding:

10. Mount Vernon
9. Ed Meinert’s jail cell
8. Manoush’s hot dog stand
7. Rice Hall 802
6. Under Peter Konwerski’s pony tail
5. The Al-Len Lee
4. Matt Berger’s bus
3. Marvin Center bathrooms
2. Georgetown University
1. UPD

Top 10 reasons former IFC Dictator Sex Blueberg should have been among the most intriguing GW personalities

10. His roommate and personal secretary HOey don’t call us, we’ll call you Girldon’tsayno
9. His good deeds, including his willingness to hang out with temperamental future dentists
8. His feeble attempt in the Kogan fountain sex dare
7. His ability to run and hide from wild frat boys and crazed reporters alike
6. His sobriety
5. His relentless effort to separate the personal from the professional.
4. His uncanny ability to go from dud to stud in one summer
3. His unconditional devotion to The Hatchet
2. His love for the ladies and an ability to get a little somethin’ somethin’
and the number one reason.
1. The goatee