Sports Briefs

Boxer Briefs

Ultimate Frisbee team hit with NCAA sanctions

The fallout continues after a New York Times expos? revealed in February that ultimate Frisbee player Better vanNookin’ held a Beer Blast at his apartment in January. The NCAA announced in Indianapolis, Ind., Friday that the Hungry, Hungry Hippos will not be allowed to appear on television for three years and will have no scholarships available for the next two years.

Frisbee head coach Fox Mulder was upbeat.

We’re probably going to have a party at Pete’s to celebrate, he said. You wanna come?

-Christopher Wallace

Women’s basketball to compete in tourney

The GW women’s basketball team announced that it will open the 2000-2001 season in a tournament to be held in St. Louis and hosted by Washington University. Other teams in the That’s Not Where I Go To School Tournament will include Georgetown, the University of Washington, Washington and Jefferson College, Washington and Lee University, Washington Bible College, Washington College and Washington State University.

-Russell Jones

Swimmer amends remarks

Graduate student swimmer Ren Stimpy amended recently some remarks he made to The Crotch-Itch March 9 about his former coach. I meant to also say that my coach is fat, ugly and smells bad, he said.

– Andre Young

Baseball game canceled

Saturday’s home baseball doubleheader with St. Bonaventure at Barcroft Park was cancelled after it was realized an under-10 tee-ball tournament had already been scheduled for that afternoon.

It kind of sucks, because when you drive three hours to get to the park, you expect to play, said a disappointed baseball player. But we knew going in that those tee-ballers always get their way. Oh well, this leaves me some time to go hook-up with the `Bar Belle.’

-Trevor Smith

Gymnastics wins national championship

The GW women’s gymnastics team coasted to an easy win in the NCAA National Championship this weekend.

This better be more than a fucking brief, said one gymnast.

– Calvin Broadus

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