MTV’s 2GET+HER proves to be a boy band everyone can enjoy

The idea of MTV doing a spoof of the overwhelming boy-band phenomena may seem like commercial suicide. Without videos by Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears and all the others, MTV would lose a big percentage of its audience. Still, if the movie is anything like 2GET+HER, Music from the MTV original TV movie! (TVT Records), it may go a long way to help MTV regain a bit of its credibility.

But, it’s not that you would guess it was anything different than business as usual. The album is filled with everything that makes 12-year-old girls swoon, and other music fans want to throw their radios out the nearest window. The opening title track has the empty, synth-loaded dance melodies and the perfect harmonizing that sounds like something out of a robot. Then there are the lyrics that will have cheese flowing out of your speakers.

But wait! If you can get past the first track – and it is hard to do – it does get better. The album is put out by TVT Records, home to the likes of Ministry and early Nine Inch Nails, so you know there’s going to be a darker edge to things. The album is filled with spoofs and puns of the whole boy-band genre. Many of the songs you have to listen carefully to before you’ll catch onto the subtext.

However, you don’t need to listen too carefully to get the point of Rub One Out – a homage to masturbation by Whoa! This one comes out full force with what is on these heartthrobs’ minds. But the way they play it, it may seem to be the perfect junior high boy’s love song with poetic lyrics such as I lock my door, get down on the floor, and rub one out.

Another touching love song is the ballad Before We Say Goodbye. With its crystal-clear harmonies and sappy lyrics such as We’ve been down this road before/Always made it through/But in case we break up/Can I still have sex with you? The song can make the young girls swoon because it shows these guys are cute and deep at the same time.

Need something to get your girl in the mood? Something to put on when you’re down in the basement watching TRL after school? Put on You’re My Baby Girl. Marvin Gaye and Barry White have nothing on these guys. It’s cheery, catchy, upbeat and goes straight to the 13-year-old psyche – both male and female. Girl, I remember when we decided it was time/I was feelin’ good, you were lookin’ fine/On the basement floor with `TRL’ behind/You were lovin’ me with Carson Daly on your mind. If you can’t get to at least second base with this song, then you deserve being crammed into a locker.

And of course, there’s the solo song from little Q.T., who looks suspiciously like a young Matthew Hale, leader of the racist Church of the Creator. At first, Visualize seems like a touching ode to his first big crush. Listen to the song three or four times and that first crush becomes his goldfish. The less said, the better.

Most of MTV’s audience is probably too young and too dim to truly understand this album. They’ll probably be blasting it from their stereos and have posters of 2Get+her all over their lockers and walls. Still, if you want to bond with your younger siblings, give them this album. It’s something you can both enjoy – and warp their minds in the process.

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