Last week The Hatchet reported that the Community Living and Learning Center, or CLLC, plans to remove housekeeping from upperclassman residence halls next year.

CLLC’s move sparked much debate and demonstrates that while you can’t get more than three of our students to turn out to vote in SA elections, you can get them up in arms if you threaten them with having to take out their own trash. It’s a good thing that there’s no way of merging the issues of Coke and scrubbing toilets together. If one could they’d have students storming Rice Hall and occupying it until the local Pepsi bottling plant was burned down and Mr. Clean was made vice president in charge of wiping students’ behinds.

But since the last time GW students turned out for anything en masse was the Midnight Breakfast when we got the giant hippo coffee mugs instead of the crap they push now – I wonder which genius thought that disco ball key chains would be cool? It looks like the administration will get its way once more. That proves the theory that when you hold all the cards and your only opposition is a weakly put together Student Association that would rather argue about who gets to supervise what during the elections for the next weakly put together Student Association than fight the man, you tend to win. If they’d only stop fighting each other for the scraps that Longshanks throws them they’d see what’s their God-given Scottish right!

I’d just like to remind those masterminding this plan over at CLLC that the University’s Student Health Service can only ask so many people who show up with obvious gangrene infections caused by their having not cleaned their bathrooms for three months if they’re pregnant. When students start dying from salmonella because they lacked someone to wipe off the counters in their kitchens, I don’t want anyone looking at me. I wash my hands of the matter with water from a tarnished sink next to a rancid toilet.

And now for something completely different.

(Insert graphic of giant foot stepping on a hippo.)

I would like to say that never let it be said that I, Mike Every Other Week Page Two Guy Bocchini, never had anything kind to say about the SA or the administration. I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the Communist Party nor do I wish to suck up to these groups. I am only saying let there be credit given where credit is due, if in fact there is credit that should be accredited to those who are a credit. Get it?

Last weekend I was part of the International Affairs Society trip that got trapped in Albany, N.Y. I shall spare you the details of this gruesome ordeal, but I’m sure you can imagine what being snowbound in Albany would be like – think The Shining crossed with Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokel. Forty-six of us crashed at a Ramada Inn for a grand total of, well, a grand. Thanks to the SA, Mike Gargano and Dean McCord of the Elliott School we didn’t have to dip into those few pennies University Stephen Joel Trachtenberg left our parents after they paid spring semester tuition and voluntary fees for the 1,000 bucks.

To all three and further to Gargano, who also spared us from the wrath of professors angered by our absence from their classes we missed on Monday, I say thank you. Quite frankly I don’t know how they knew we were absent. Does a room designed for 15 and filled with 30 look all that different with 29?

Gee, all it took for the SA and the administration to not get completely slammed in my column was a few hundred dollars each for the IAS. I wonder what I would say about them if they gave money directly to me? Hmm, FYI deposits to both my Swiss and Cayman Island bank accounts can be made with the greatest of ease.

My kind words for the SA and administration thus stated, I shall return in two weeks to my usual, all bashing, all the time of our student leaders and caring administration, unless of course there is an increase in my NIH balance.