Why is the sky blue? Is there life on Mars? Is there a God? Where’s Wolf?

When you’re trying to write a column on Super Bowl Sunday, there’s hardly enough time to create a coherent narrative, so I’ll just take some questions from the audience.Yes, you in the back in those French braids.

Mr. Holt, what do you think about the rest of this season for the Colonials?

Well, obviously Mike King’s return has paid handsome dividends, not only because of his talent, but through the indirect benefits of having another offensive weapon, another player for defenses to worry about, and a warm body to allow the guards to rest and worry less about foul trouble.

SirValiant seems to be over his injury and is playing incredible right now, and the old whining about field-goal percentage threatens to be a thing of the past (goodbye, Sir Miss-A-Lot). Also, it took awhile for Chris Monroe to come around, but he’s now unstoppable from basically anywhere on the floor. Jason Smith is like a brand new man. Bernard Barrow looks very sharp on passing and is pretty reliable for a timely three.

GW was robbed at St. Joseph’s because of the wrongful ejection of Monroe (I know, I said a week ago getting ejected was stupid, but, silly me, I assumed the referees knew what they were doing. The Atlantic 10 didn’t make that assumption and said it was all a big mistake. Too late to win the game for GW, though.) With a complete lineup of guards, GW has nearly won on the road at the top team in the A-10 West, beat what was the top team in the A-10 East, and crushed poor La Salle.

What this past week has shown is that the Colonials haven’t a single game left on their schedule that isn’t winnable. Or they could lose them all. Who knows, but expectations are suddenly high. I’d like to see the Colonials, who have six winnable games ahead, take four home wins out of that, and win at Duquesne and La Salle.

Then, GW would be over .500 and face games at Xavier, Fordham and UMass, plus a home game with Temple to finish the season. Those last four are brutal, but GW’s as hot as anyone in the league right now. The team would like to be over .500 so it could go to the NIT, and a second-place finish in the A-10 West (the Colonials are only a half-game out of that right now) would earn GW a first-round bye in the A-10 Tournament. That would make the possibility of winning it and going to the NCAAs far more realistic.

Gee, David, is there anything you aren’t optimistic about?

Well, if you must know. Barrow’s free-throw shooting is extremely poor for a point guard, although I know he works on it a lot. Val’s not getting to the line like he used to, but he makes more field goals now. Jason Smith still has a ways to go, and it would be fun to see him play great for more than 10 minutes.

Winning is what’s important, but it would also be nice to shoot well consistently. Defense is much improved, so for the time being, there’s little to complain about there. Passing seems to be the newest rage, and that’s good, but the frontcourt could be better at finishing. But, then again, the frontcourt is basically nonexistent, so it’s pointless to critique. Just read my book, From Starter to Scrub: The Albert Roma Story.

I’ll be honest, it’s hard for me be critical of college players, especially if it’s just a talent issue. We know we have a competent coaching staff and usually all blame at the college level should be placed there. The Colonials are playing as well as they can with the personnel they have. The players on the court who dominate also happen to be Penders’ guys, so he’s the last one I’ll criticize. As for anyone else, as long as they try their hardest, I’m satisfied.

Ahhhhhh, that’s sweet, David. Tell me, will Mike King ever start again?

Hmmm. Good question. If he knocks Monroe out of the lineup, there’ll be rioting in the streets. Mike can wish for two things. Either Val keeps missing study hall or Penders starts a four-guard lineup.

What happened to Penders playing walk-ons?

Well, it seems that Mark Lund and Co.’s playing time has an inverse relationship to the team’s record. Obviously, Mark deserves every minute he gets, but as seniors go, I’d also like to mention that it would warm my heart to hear a We want Sam chant, because there are few people on this campus as kind and amiable as Sam Anyan – and he’s certainly paid his dues over the years.

Tell me, doesn’t Red Auerbach have anything better to do?

You’d think. Surely there’s a Celtics game on the satellite or something. It’s a shame the man who coached Bill Russell has to watch Albert Roma every week.

Can you lay off on Roma for a minute and tell me, who’s the better dresser – Pat Ngongba or Michael Jordan?

Hard to say. I’ll be better able to compare when Jordan is at a game. (How’s that coming, SJT?)

When’s the Xavier game?

Saturday. Get in line now. And it’s at 4 p.m., so you should be awake by then.

How many WRGW broadcasts do I have to listen to the rest of the year?

Duquesne and La Salle are the only road games not on TV.

Where’s Wolf Blitzer? Has he bailed on us?

Well, it is primary season, but maybe he just liked foreign players. He was at the BB&T, along with Bob Novak and Bernard Shaw.

Hey, what’s going on with the men’s novice crew team? I have to know.

I’m so glad someone finally asked. Unfortunately, I’m out of room.

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