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The GW Hatchet

AN INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SERVING THE GW COMMUNITY SINCE 1904

The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Officials name senior vice president, chief of staff
By Fiona Riley, Assistant News Editor • March 26, 2024

Basketball Preview: NBA tattoo? Check. Wins? Hmmmm.

So, here we are. Page 11. If you’re from China, we’re just getting started. But otherwise, you’ve probably learned a thing or two about GW basketball. God knows I have. I’m just wrapping up a weekendlong intensive course in Colonials hoops. So come into my office hours and let’s talk about what we’ve learned.

So, how about those uniforms, huh? Now, that’s buff. Or how about that SirValiant? That name, that tattoo, that mischievous smile. This guy’s a character. I have met the life of the GW party, and it is SirValiant Brown.

But what about the team – how is this movie gonna end? Well, first of all, it’s gonna be a fun ride. There is some talent on this team – talent unlike what GW’s been used to. SirValiant, for example, might literally break someone’s ankles in his college career. But what you always have to worry about when you get a bunch of hot shots like SirValiant, Bernard Barrow, and Chris Monroe is that you’ll get a bunch of attitude, too. But how about this quote from Bernard:

I don’t think about no personal goals. We a team, a chain. All of us got one goal, and that’s to win the NCAA Championship. To get a ring – that’s my goal. I feel if you’re not hungry like that, what’s your purpose?

That’s a damned good point. Now that could just be a bunch of hooey, except that I heard the words out of his mouth, and he meant them. Bernard’s got the confidence to lead this team, and I know where he gets it, too. I love that GW has a coach that believes he’s gonna win a national championship. What a perfect attitude for the school that houses the next 2,000 presidents of the United States. It’s funny that people around here probably laugh when they hear a Colonial talk about Final Fours. But they’re just ignorant of Tom Penders’ history. Bernard sure isn’t (listens to his elders. check).

The presence of Tom Penders alone tells me GW’s not going to be 172nd this year. But the Colonials will probably have a tough time. The schedule is brutal. I’d rather play UConn than all these weird/awesome schools like South Florida who can make their year by catching us on a bad night.

And let’s not exaggerate these kids’ inexperience. They’re not gonna miss shots because the rim’s too high. They know how to play basketball. It’s an intangible thing, and I can’t pretend to understand it, but I think these guys have the right attitude to learn fast. SirValiant and Bernard have to. As for Chris, along with the sick hops of Jason Smith and Ngongba, he’s gonna’ be a force off the bench. After time, it’ll be hard to keep him there. Kind of like when Mike King was sixth man for, oh, a week. Wait a second, Mike King? Is he still on the team? Of course he is. And besides being more physically cut than ever, he’s grown up a lot, too.

So, all of that may not be enough to win in Alaska, but it may be enough to ensure that this year isn’t just a barnstorming tour before the big show next season (the team only loses Francisco de Miranda).

No, call me smitten by flashy dribbling and fancy talk, but I think the 1999 Colonials will put it together by 2000 and finish the regular season 20-9, good enough for another NCAA berth.

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