Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

AN INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SERVING THE GW COMMUNITY SINCE 1904

The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Officials name senior vice president, chief of staff
By Fiona Riley, Assistant News Editor • March 26, 2024

Look Mom, after two years, I finally wrote something!!

Hi. Many of you don’t know me. I’m not a writer for The Hatchet. You know those ads? No, I don’t sell them. I just take them from University departments, student groups and national agencies. No big deal. But since I am a lucky senior with massive Hatchet connections, I get some space to say what I want. Don’t worry, it won’t be too bad. I hope.

Four years ago, I was a senior in high school ready to get the hell out of Upper Arlington, Ohio (hi Susan and Christine – fellow UAHS grads here at GW). I came here to row. Unfortunately, because of my academic performance freshman year, I had to make a decision about what was most important to me. For better or for worse, I left the crew team after a tearful summer.

Although I’m not a part of the team, I never lost my pride in the sport and the friends who remained on the team. I am so proud of you. To my classmates who endured mornings with our favorite novice coach and her dog, I wish I could share the glory, but I’m happy just knowing that you have done so well. Anne, Erin, Eva, Jamie, Sam, Sarah and Steph, I have missed rowing with you since I stopped, but I treasure the memories. Keep on SPENN-ing and JUMP-ing like a jumpie.

To the Spices: West Side, GWorld, Setter and Ghetto. Words cannot describe how much your friendship means to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the laughs, actual conversations between the jokes, the fun and the spicy dinners that we have while watching “Dawson’s Creek.”

Audrey, you were an awesome roommate. You were one of the first people I met on the team, and I just knew that we would be buds. Boy, am I good. Ann, you’re amazing. We always laugh and I can count on acting completely insane with you all the time. But I can also count on your friendship for a lifetime. Don’t feel pressured.

Jill, you are the coolest, most level-headed person I know. You are someone to look up to and you will always be revered by me. Goddess Jill. And you’d better put me on the VIP list for volleyball games. (Jill is the kick-ass setter for the GW volleyball team. Go and see them play).

Ghetto, for now, you’re in London but still just an awesome chica. I’m glad we studied in my room that fateful night last year. We discovered our singing talents while scaring Jill. It was all downhill from there. I can see why we get along so well. You rock, I rock, we rock! You still have my “Three Amigos” tape, by the way. Thank you Spice Rack. I know we have more times ahead!

My affiliation with The Hatchet officially began last year when I became the all-mighty University advertising manager. Heck, with an art history degree in the works, what better job than something that has nothing to do with your field? It was the best decision I could have made. The interview process was easy. My boyfriend (yes, the same one from Thurston, for those of you who lived on the eighth floor) previously held the position and called me while I was at home for the summer and said it was mine if I wanted it.

After that grueling process, things got even better. I’ve met some of the most incredible and talented people. I must say, I thought I would never experience the bond you get with people when you row, but it does exist elsewhere.

Margaret and Ali, my favorite roommate pair. You guys just kick butt, plain and simple. Ali, I’m still in awe. You know. But we’ve had such common problems this year and you’ve helped me see things in a different light. I hope that I was able to help you out, too. You seem to be doing well now!

Margaret, I don’t know if I could have handled Frank on my own. Together we have taken the business office by storm and now we own the place. You have been someone to bitch at and someone who can bitch with the best of them! You have done more than most people would do at The Hatchet and I am surprised you’re still standing – and that you have all of your fingers. Things are going to be great for both of you girls next year and I wish you luck. Plus, I’ll be sending you continued Jody love all the time. Not to worry.

Frank. Frank, Frank, Frank. My god, we should never get married. Hell, I think we are, on some weird plane. Working downstairs with you has been such a great experience. I think I really started to appreciate you when we went to the bustling metropolis of Kansas City. Who could forget the “mocha moment”? Pure genius. Your first real funny joke. I’m still waiting for the next one.

Even though I make fun of you to no end and even occasionally hate you so much I want to quit my job, you must know that you are really one of the reasons I stay with it. There have been days this year when I needed to smile, and I just couldn’t. Most likely, you’d screw up something and just make me laugh. Thanks for everything. And don’t forget about our Yankee Stadium excursion this summer. Seats over the Yankee dugout. You are part of my destiny with Derek Jeter. I’m holding you to it.

Mr. Jared Sher, Esq., I remember our first meeting – A drunken editor in chief party. Me sitting on your lap, poking your chest until it bruised. All because you stole my chair. Who knew that I would later live with your girlfriend and you would become such a great friend?

I look to you like a big brother. You’re better (and older, hee hee) than me and I would love to be like you. Like a brother, you’ve been there for me, whether you like it or not. Letting me play PlayStation with you or sharing a laugh, it’s been a fabulous couple of years. I know that we will have years together. My kids will probably call you Uncle Jared. Of course, dogs can’t talk, so we’ll pretend. We’re camping out for “Star Wars,” by the way.

To my dancing partner, Dave. I have to lump you with the other boys for a bit. You, Greg, Brian, Eli and Kevin have made my bleak days brighter. I can’t thank you enough for making me laugh and forget my problems, even if it was for a brief moment. Even pushing me into a puddle (Eli and Kevin!) wasn’t so bad. Wait, yes it was. Thanks for being great buddies.

Dave, our friendship has grown exponentially this year. I regret not really knowing you until now and I’m upset that you may leave D.C. Who will I swing with? Who will I endlessly quote Simpsons’ lines with? You’re a talented and wonderful person. You, and our friendship mean the world to me and I plan to hold on to it. You’d better do the same!

Becky, you have been the ultimate light at the end of my tunnel. I thank you for late-night talks and just being there for me. It is truly difficult for me to put into words how much our friendship means to me. We’ve only been close for a short time, but we seem like old friends. I know that 20 years down the road we’ll still be sitting around drinking coffee and laughing about old times – times that haven’t even happened yet. Heck, if it was a perfect world, we would be next-door neighbors.

I thank you for sharing your thoughts and making me feel like a capable person that can overcome even the most difficult of problems. Your potential, intelligence and abilities are the stuff most people wish they could have. I hope some rubs off on me. I look forward to our future as friends and I am happy for our brief history.

Helder, you are the only person in my world who has the ability to make me cry and laugh in the span of five minutes. You have been someone I have loved and someone I have disliked. You are my first everything. You were one of my best friends in Thurston and you quickly became my boyfriend – someone I could easily spend my life with. You were the first person to really care about me and what I had to say. I felt important to you, your favorite girl.

We’ve had an interesting ride. You’ve taught me a lot about life and shown me that growing up isn’t as scary as I thought. You can trust that I will always love you, in some form. Even in our darkest moments, I held on because I thought you were worth it. I did the right thing.

I hope our bad times are over and we can start again from where we left off about a year ago. I would do anything for you and I know you feel the same about me. Without you, I would not b
e writing this and I would not have these wonderful friends. We have made our GW experiences memorable and I hope that we can continue our lives together. I love you. I’m happy I can say that.

To Mom and Dad, you guys have been my support through everything I have done. I could never thank you enough for what you’ve done and sacrificed for me and Lauren. If I could tell you one thing, it would be that I love you and that I hope you are both happier people. It hasn’t been an easy couple of years for any of us. Your divorce has caused me to re-evaluate what love and marriage mean to me. Everything happens for a reason and despite the yelling and the tears, I have learned from this experience and I think I am a stronger person because of it. Thank you.

Lauren, I appreciate having you as my sister more now that we are apart from each other. I would not have gotten through the divorce without you. Your maturity and insight through our emotional roller coaster was amazing. I’m sorry I overshadowed you all of these years. Your potential and intelligence was always overlooked and is only now coming into the light. You are more talented than you give yourself credit. Go out into the world and reach for all you can. Without you, I don’t think I would have had nearly as interesting of a life growing up. You’ve got to admit, we had fun.

A special shout-out goes to my greatest long-term friends, those girls I have known for years: Anne, Jess, Missy, Lindsey, Betsy, Lia, Mary, Mandy and Claire. You guys are still the best, though we don’t see each other much any more. You still mean the world to me and I know we will meet up again.

Sheandra, my black counterpart and Thurston 813 roommate, you still rock my black side, even though now it’s a rare occasion that I see you. I know that you’ll be taking over the world and I expect to see you raising hell, fighting the power. You know we can “Jungle Boogie” anytime, babe!

For those of you who didn’t make it into this piece, don’t worry. You’ll get a card. Friendship is the most important aspect of my life. I value it higher than almost everything else. Being here at GW has given me some of the greatest memories, and I owe them to my friends. Thank you, everyone. To all I know and to all that I owe so much, I wish you peace and happiness, luck and love. We will never say goodbye. I just won’t allow it.

-After graduating, Jody Tomesek will continue in her search for the history of art and Derek Jeter. If that fails, she will return to The Hatchet and live in the basement as Timmy’s roommate.

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