Pack up the tents. Round up the elephants. You there, with the cotton candy, stand and move along. You clowns, yeah, all of ya . back into the car. Your run in this town is over. The circus is moving out. The trial of the president is over.
Well, now what? Don’t get me wrong, sure, the show itself is over, but the excitement is far from subsiding. Yes, everybody says, “Phoo-whee, I sure am glad that’s finally over. If they had interrupted `All My Children’ one more time, I was gonna scream!”
But it’s not over. It will never end. Now we get to see what life would have been like if O.J. Simpson had been running the country at the time of his trial and acquittal. No, Clinton is not going to sign an executive order legalizing brutal stabbings as an effective method of dealing with spouses. But he will remain in the public eye. His legitimacy as our leader will constantly be in question. Everything he touches will turn into a question mark.
And here’s something to ponder: What will become of these upstart cable news channels? MSNBC has essentially been a “’round the clock” scandal station for more than a year. Do its reporters remember how to cover anything else? Do they know about the issues of importance that do not involve Kenny, Monica and the rest of the gang? Do they care, as long as the ratings are good?
News, unlike beauty, is in the eye of those who write the checks. Sex sells. They’ll milk this cash cow for all it’s worth.
Please, don’t get me started on Fox News. Those two words do not belong together. That makes as much sense as “jumbo shrimp” or “tuition decrease.” The notion that anyone associated with a network that has run shows such as “World’s Bloodiest Police Videos” and “Decapitation: LIVE” is going to try to give me the news is ludicrous.
Don’t get me wrong, I love those shows. But this scandal has blurred the line even more between news and entertainment. Fox should entertain me with rabid animals. Leave the news to someone else.
Did you happen to catch the vote itself Friday afternoon? Pretty surreal, huh? The highlight was Arlen Specter’s vote of “not proven.” According to one of the TV talking heads, Senator Specter was taking a page from Scottish parliamentary procedure where one can vote “not proven” instead of “guilty” or “not guilty.”
Does the man know where he is? I don’t see any vendors selling haggis or bottles of Glenfiddich around here (although that gives me a great idea – whiskey vending. It would probably put that coffee guy in front of Gelman Library out of business).
And then they gave Chief Justice William Rehnquist a “golden gavel” award for his work in presiding over the trial. Does the highest judge in the land want a plaque thanking him for doing his duty? I doubt that one is going to hang in his office. Everyone should just go home and prepare for getting back to business as usual. No more photo-ops, no more sound bites.
That ends my impeachment rant. When you set aside Friday to write, and that particular day happens to see the acquittal of the president in the first impeachment trial in 130 years, you feel compelled to speak out.
And now that I think about it, I’m guilty of perpetuating this whole mess. As you read this, it is Tuesday, Feb. 16. The trial has been over for four days. You’re probably wishing I would just shut up about it and make fun of our esteemed University.
So GW charges the 14th highest amount for tuition (plus fees) in the United States. That in itself is hilarious.
Why, oh why, are we hovering in and out of the top 50 schools in the United States?
What’s that you say? Money can’t buy respect? No, you are correct. But it can buy facilities, computers, books, etc. And it can pay quality professors decent salaries for their work.
It also can buy swanky gates. It can buy flashy materials to convince the youth of America to attend GW. Money can do a lot of things.
I suppose this is just a plea to administrators – spend wisely. Listen to students. Save the cosmetics for later. This latest tuition increase doesn’t really matter to me. I’m a senior, so I suppose they could just raise the fees through the roof if they wanted to and I wouldn’t give a hoot. But for four years I’ve watched Trachtenberg and Co. put my family’s money toward some pretty crazy crap.
I guess that’s just my 2 cents. Give or take about $99,999.98.
This article appeared in the February 16, 1999 issue of the Hatchet.