You know it’s funny, as the years go by and technology enables us to learn more about what is going on around us, society seems to be snowballing to the point of incomprehensibility. As early as 200 B.C., Aristotle had a point when he said you should look at the source of the information before you even begin to evaluate the content of that information. Take the 1997 “Free Tibet” rally on the Mall where His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Richard Gere were present.

Wait a minute, Richard Gere? Besides the fact that his movie Red Corner (about the struggle for human rights in China) just happened to be in theaters at the time, who is Richard Gere to be preaching anything?

Sure, no one will say that public figures who utilize their status to bring issues of concern to light is a negative thing, but isn’t this the same Richard Gere who was rumored to have had a run-in with a small animal? What I’m trying to say is this: No matter whether the rumors are false or not, people think twice before agreeing to buy something from a person whose reputation has been soiled.

Enter President Clinton.

Although getting frisky with an intern has nothing to do with national security, people feel that lying about his private life is a horrible injustice to the American judicial system and his immediate removal from office is called for.

Obviously cheating on your wife with an intern half your age shows an incredible abuse of authority and conflicts with most people’s views on morality, but does the situation really demand Clinton’s removal? Let’s just think about this for a moment: The Starr Report cited several incidents in which Clinton received oral sex from Monica Lewinsky while speaking on the phone with high-ranking government officials.

Where’s the problem? I actually commend him on it. Talk about killing two birds with one stone. What an incredibly organized man he has to be in order to perfectly balance his affair without disrupting his workload (no pun intended).

Now enter Jerry Springer. I had the honor of listening to Jerry discuss his views during the “Ethics and the Media” forum held in the Betts Theatre Jan. 14. What a better way to discuss the issue than getting the information straight from the horse’s mouth? But I am not going to talk about what Jerry had to say about ethics and the media. Instead, I am going to focus on what Jerry had to say about President Clinton.

First and foremost, I agree with Springer that the right to privacy is one of the most sacred things in life. The idea of Kenneth Starr having a $40 million-plus budget for an investigation that’s sole purpose is to detail Clinton’s sexual activity like a Penthouse Forum is preposterous. The only difference between the Starr Report and Penthouse is that the Starr Report doesn’t arrive in my mailbox monthly with a cardboard cover on it.

Second, Jerry made an interesting point. Impeachment was created to protect the citizens of the newly formed United States from the wrath of tyrannical kings such as King George of England, not as a means of punishment.

Surely, “high crimes and misdemeanors” demand the immediate removal of the president because the freedom of U.S. citizens is jeopardized, but only Bill Clinton and the GAP were hurt as a result of this whole thing. I’m sure the first thing the CEO of the GAP did after hearing the news of the dress was send Monica Lewinsky a gift certificate to Abercrombie & Fitch.

But of course, Monica got her much-needed makeover as well as her million dollar offers for interviews. And although Monica is surely financially set for life as a result of this whole “oraldeal” (bad pun intended), Lewinsky will surely be a household name for years to come.

Last but certainly not least, Springer said that Washington is now resembling “The Jerry Springer Show.” This statement perfectly reflects people’s viewpoints on both topics. Some people absolutely love “The Jerry Springer Show,” some absolutely detest it and everything that it stands for, and some people are simply apathetic toward it.

The same can be said about people’s viewpoints toward the whole situation with the president. I personally find it to be on the same wavelength as “The Jerry Springer Show” and falling under the category of “mindless entertainment.”

I like to compare the whole “Crisis in the White House” and “The Jerry Springer Show” to an exercise ball I bought for my hamster when I was a kid. The way it worked was that you would simply unscrew the top of the plastic ball, put the hamster in, screw the top back on and watch him run around. The amusing part came when “Gizmo” (named after the little guy in Gremlins) would decide to go down the stairs or keep running into a wall. No matter how many times Gizmo ran into a wall or decided to roll down the stairs, I thought that it was the funniest thing that I have ever seen.

And no matter how many times I see lesbians punch each other on Springer’s show or laugh at how visibly awkward anchors appear while saying “penis” on the news, I still think that it’s the funniest thing in the world.

-The writer is a sophomore.