When one of the truly talented, funny actors in Hollywood reduces himself to a film that offers two hours of garbage, it’s pathetic.
My Giant (Castle Rock/Columbia) is worse than boring – it’s annoying. The film boasts a handful of funny moments. All are included in the television previews.
Billy Crystal (Deconstructing Harry) plays Sammy, a talent agent whose career and marriage are on the verge of collapse. A near-fatal car wreck in the hills of Romania brings Sammy to a monastery where he meets Max.
Max is played by the 7-7 Gheorghe Muresan. (Yes, he’s the same guy who plays basketball for the Washington Wizards.) Sammy decides he can make Max a movie star, so he drags him to America. To convince Max to go, Sammy promises he will be reunited with his long-lost love.
On their trek across the country, they encounter sleazy promoters and a horde of wrestling midgets. In Las Vegas they meet Steven Seagal (Executive Decision), who portrays himself. Seagal wants Max to be in his movie.
The audience learns that Max’s love wants nothing to do with him, and that he has a fatal heart condition. The not-so-funny joke, “Have you ever seen an old giant?” is repeated numerous times.
In addition to Max’s problems, Sammy is a highly disturbed individual who befriends a trusting, gentle giant just so he can exploit him in Hollywood.
As for the humor, Billy Crystal’s usual antics, which are quite enjoyable, are lost in this awful film. Instead of sticking to his brand of humor, the film is dark and dreary.
Estelle Harris (“Seinfeld”) delivers a wonderful Seinfeld-style punch line, which turns out to be the highlight of the film. Kathleen Quinian (Breakdown) plays Serena, Sammy’s wife. The perky and cute actress appears disturbingly old in the film.
Muresan has missed the entire NBA season due to a reported injury that occurred on the set of My Giant. Oddly enough, Muresan isn’t such an awful actor for someone with no experience and a face that should never be on the big screen. He manages to capture the hearts of the audience much better than Crystal. He delivers his lines with such poignancy and innocence, it’s hard not to become attached to the giant.
Since Crystal is a talented and well-liked guy in Hollywood, My Giant won’t signal the end of his movie career. Crystal should return to the humor that made his characters so lovable in movies like When Harry Met Sally and City Slickers.
With My Giant, the closest thing Crystal will get to an Academy Award is hosting the show again. My Giant joins the group of dubious films that should be avoided at all costs.
My Giant is now playing1 hatchet
