Testesbulg debuts as insane drunk

In what GW President Steven Testesbulg said was his acting debut, he admitted last week to playing Buddy Black, the alcoholic father, in John Formulaic Girsham’s The Rainmaker.

“It really wasn’t that difficult,” Testesbulg said of his part. “I just replaced the Hollywood rum with some D.C. `water’ and ran with it.”

Students were unaware that the president was pursuing other professions while running the University. “How did he have time?” freshman Timmy Tehctah asked in a Student Association townhall meeting on the matter.

SA President “P” Gulpalot fielded questions on behalf of Testesbulg. “It really doesn’t take that much time,” Gulpalot said. “I mean the acting thing.”

Gulpalot said Testesbulg enjoyed the change of pace from directing everything to being directed. He added that working with such competent and talented people was a breath of fresh air.

Some students wondered if Buddy Black was, in fact, Testesbulg long before the announcement. Lets B. Frank, a junior communications major, said, “I knew it all along. I know everything about Hollywood – and I knew this.”

Other students were amused by the president’s new vocation. “It’s really not all that new for him,” I. M. Green said. “The Adams Hall thing is proof.” Green went on to add that Testesbulg should have earned an Oscar for his performance – which one, he did not specify. Testesbulg later sent pizza to Green.

Gulpalot relayed a message from the president about his future in Hollywood. “I don’t think I will continue to act,” Gulpalot read from a letter, “unless I can have a fairly similar part. My niche seems to be the certifiable alcoholic who sits in the back of a car.”

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