We were wrong. Plain and simple. For months we railed against the University’s proposal to move Commencement from the Ellipse to the MCI Center. They listened and decided to keep it where it was. But now we realize we made a mistake. Commencement should be held at the MCI Center. It is the best location for our life-long memories to occur.

First, when did the Ellipse become a tradition? It has only been used for the last couple of years. That does not signify an unbreakable tradition. A few years ago when Coke introduced “New Coke,” it bombed hard and fast. The public never saw it as a “tradition,” but only as the cheap publicity gimmick that it was. Same thing with the Ellipse. Just because Commencement has been out in the open for the past few years does not mean this is a something to hand down from one generation to the next like grandma’s silverware.

Second, what’s so bad about the MCI Center? It’s indoors, next to the Metro, in Chinatown (for diversity awareness fans) and everyone gets a good seat. In contrast, by having the event on the Ellipse, you may be sunburned, drenched or bombarded – not only by the shit speakers are throwing at the audience – but also by pigeons. Imagine finding a parking space at the Ellipse! Do you really want to be walking the streets of D.C. in your new JC Penney attire?

So now we have admitted our mistake in supporting the Ellipse. We were wowed by Ellipse supporters who plied us with alcohol and drugs. That is why we wrote so many editorials supporting the Ellipse. Would any sober person do such a stupid thing? We think not.

We also have a suggestion on how to improve attendance at Commencement, as well as at Monumental Celebration – ask the chicks from Mount Vernon College to don those Playboy bunny outfits serve everyone drinks and snacks. That would definitely arouse interest. And the pay is great. Since they’re our bitches now, it’s the least we can do.