Kappa Smacka Slut president gets profound

Running around organizing her sorority isn’t easy on senior Kandy Hertzblaum. Especially in three-inch heels.

But Hertzblaum braves blisters and bad hair days. As president and founder of Kappa Smacka Slut, she can barely catch her breath, let alone take a day off (even when D.C.’s intense humidity threatens to frizz her mane).

“As the president, I have to set a good example, and a lot of the like you know, um, organizational, um, responsibilities are like my problem,” Hertzblaum explains. “With so many, you know, a lot of these girls, they depend on me. Without KSS, they can hardly keep themselves in classes. Their minds are like elsewhere.”

Hertzblaum founded KSS during her freshman year. Emerging from the affluent jungles of Long Island, she recalls the shock she experienced living in Thurston Hall.

“First of all, like there were girls on my hall, all right, who would go out in – I mean it was ridiculous,” Hertzblaum recalls. “I mean white after Labor Day, like they would go to classes with these baseball hats and I swear they didn’t even like shower half the time.”

Besides the fashion problems in Thurston, Hertzblaum said she was also distressed by the cultural deficiencies of her fellow students.

“They were like total rubes or something,” she shudders. “I was like, `hello, have you ever heard of Tiffany’s?’ and they’d be all `huh?’ “

Worst of all, Hertzbaum said, was her roomate.

“She was from like Idaho or Ohio – one of those places,” she recalls. “And she like had this nosering and she used to like go out with guys that I mean she could never marry or anything – sometimes they weren’t even like white.”

Hertzbaum needed to find her niche, she says. After a few hysterical phone calls to Mom and Dad, Hertzbaum convinced her parents to contribute to the cause of preserving their daughter’s social life.

“I mean, personally you know I don’t have any money of my own,” Hertzbaum said. “But my parents understand like how important it is for me to be seen with the right people. How else can I go out and seriously expect to meet the kind of man I could bring home? So like with that in mind they funded the sorority. My mom’s like an honorary member or something.”

Ironically, Hertzbaum said men are the base for the sisterhood she founded. KSS does mixers with fraternities and athletic teams.

“Of course, that’s to make sure that we are consistently meeting the men who are going someplace with their lives,” Hertzbaum explained. “I don’t need the degree – I need the ring. That’s what I tell my girls.”

Hanging out with other Jewish girls from the northeast corner of the country also increases visibility, Hertzbaum said.

“This way, say you’re like a Jewish guy, pre-med or maybe pre-law,” she explained. “You know exactly where you can find the girls to match your position. Kappa Smacka Slut has members from the tri-state area, as well Connecticut, Massachusetts and one girl from Maryland. But all of us favor Wonderbras, brown lipsticks and lots of black. I mean except when we work out.”

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