Foggy Bottom cola wars

George Washington University seems to have a student body that very readily questions administration policies. While such action is definitely necessary, it can overstep the bounds of sanity. I’m finished with standing in the unvoiced shadows of GW and I’m ready to razz some of those vocal ones out there. This issue transcends Student Association elections, tuition hikes and even same-sex marriages. What is this highly important issue? It is “The Coke and Pepsi War!”

This issue seems to rank in the top 10 of GDubbers’ concerns about their school. It is a favorite pastime of some to complain about the school’s contract with Pepsi, crying to be liberated from the tyranny of Czar Trachtenberg – and be allowed to drink a Coke on campus without getting shot by Pepsi Police snipers positioned atop the Marvin Center (falling concrete, hah!).

In fact, the issue of getting a Coke contract over Pepsi was important enough to be included on SA senator-elect Zach Radford’s campaign platform.

Now some of you will have to excuse me. I am no pop (or soda, if that floats your boat) connoisseur. However, I can taste the difference between Coke and Pepsi. Once at a middle school party, someone claimed a difference existed, so I tried to prove them wrong.

Is Coke better than Pepsi? I don’t know. I do know one thing, though. The difference is so close to nothing that if it were described by a math major (I’m thinking about it, so don’t make fun), it would be described as “approaching zero,” which clearly means to everyone but the math teacher, zero.

GW doesn’t seem to me to be the kind of institution that would readily throw away money on its students. I can almost guarantee that the Pepsi contract saves us money over an equivalent Coke contract.

How sane is it that the student body, always ready to point out to the administration where it is wasting money, is ready to spend more money on a product that is nearly the same as its counterpart? Not to mention the fact that as soon as Coke signs would be erected for worship in the J Street dining facilities, Pepsi drinkers everywhere would crawl out of the woodworks and unite under the repression of their taste buds.

This humble freshman thinks that the issue should be left for dead. As a wise man once told me (actually, he was drunk, but there isn’t a huge difference), “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”-The writer is a freshman undecided on a major.

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