Stories from the April 2, 2007, Print Edition
Senior guys: imagine your life in a few months - going on dates, pretending to respect girls you meet at work and at bars and having a lot less sex. Girls: you'll have a similar predicament. No longer will you be able to fuck any guy just because you're both sloshed at a party and you knew he would go down on you first.
Reader's note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. The Hatchet's "We're Right, You're Stupid" board often comes under fire for being overly critical and harsh on a variety of individuals and groups. While we usually respond to our critics by telling them to go fuck themselves, the board considered a more nuanced reaction to our perceived negativity.
It's about time! The Gelman Library has slowly but surely been updating its infrastructure for GW students. An effective new student liaison is partly responsible for the improvements that deserve our praise. Student outreach has never been better, and as a result, the library has become a better place to work and study.
Freshmen: if you haven't accepted the fact that your grandmother will never truly respect you now that you didn't get into Georgetown, then you might as well stop reading this now. You're a lost cause. For everyone else, take solace in this fact - we're No.
Vol. 108
An Independent Student Newspaper
Serving The George Washington University Community Since 1904
