Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.

Updated: April 1, 2015 at 12:01 a.m.

The Hatchet Job celebrated its 1 millionth factual error on Wednesday.

GW’s student newspaper reached the milestone after incorrectly reporting that University President Jock Strapp had purchased the Gelbucks shop for his dog, Lays. He was actually purchasing a grande latte.

“Honestly, YOLO,” one Hatchet Job news editor said in an interview.

This post was updated to reflect the following corrections:
The Hatchet Job incorrectly reported that The Hatchet Job had celebrated its billionth factual error. It was just the one millionth error and the editors are really bad at counting. The Hatchet Job also incorrectly reported that University President Jock Strapp had purchased the new Textile Museum. In addition, The Hatchet Job incorrectly reported that Jock Strapp’s cat ordered a beverage at Starbucks. Furthermore, The Hatchet Job incorrectly reported that Jock Strapp’s pet was a cat. Due to an editing error, The Hatchet Job also published the entirety of this article in Spanish. Lo siento. Oh, and The Hatchet Job mistakenly reported that the coffee shop had flooded. A student actually just dropped his water bottle. We regret these errors.