The holidays, and college itself, seem to make what is already bad about breaking up even worse. Whether we all buckle under the pressure of choosing a gift for our significant other, or see the next semester as the perfect opportunity to start over with someone new, last semester’s relationships can easily dissolve over the holidays.

Here at GW, the winter break and breaking up go hand-in-hand, and with that, the post-breakup competitions begin.

You may not call it that, exactly, but you do know what I’m talking about. Following all of our breakups, no matter how painful, no matter who broke up with whom, there is a non-verbal, unwritten competition over who can be happier without the other.

My first serious breakup took place my sophomore year of high school. The then love of my life, Mr. Senior Hockey Captain, broke my fragile 15-year-old heart in a single telephone call. Devastated as I might have been, the next day at school, I wore my shortest, dress code-appropriate plaid skirt, made my hair all curly (his favorite style) and pranced around school flirting all day. I felt better instantly.

This behavior might seem silly and immature, and that’s mainly because it is. But however silly, however immature, it works, and that’s why we all do it.

For us girls, it’s all about the look. Following any breakup, after losing weight from all the food we’re not eating, our post-breakup behavior primarily consists of looking amazing while trying to maintain the impression that it was effortless. We go out to places with poles for dancing and a plethora of glitter.

Meanwhile in their post-breakup worlds, guys typically surround themselves with as many females as possible and drink… a lot. Even more than usual.

In both cases the idea is the same: to prove to the other one that you can be happy without him or her and, more importantly, that you are happier than they are – hence the competition. The x-factor in the post-breakup equation is the camera. All of our flirtations and hotness need to be properly documented and then uploaded to Facebook where our ex-significant other is sure to be cyber stalking us. Without the camera, our efforts are essentially useless, right?

Well, not completely. While our actions may be rooted in revenge, there are additional underlying benefits to all of this behavior. Yes, we are trying to convince the other person that we are more than fine without them, but who is to say that we aren’t doing the exact same thing for ourselves?

We need to know that we are going to be okay, too. By wearing new high heels, making out with complete strangers and waking up with glitter in our pockets, we’re getting over our breakup in the fastest and most enjoyable ways. We’re also proving to ourselves that this can work – we can be happy without them.

When mentioned out loud or even typed out, the post-breakup competition just seems juvenile and petty, and it is for perhaps this very reason that it remains an un-discussed phenomenon. However, it’s time that someone shed light on this tradition. It’s time for people to accept, and even encourage this behavior. We all do it to some degree, and there is no need for shame as long as we are recovering from the breakup in our quests for revenge. So go on… let the competitions begin.

-The writer, a sophomore majoring in journalism, is a Hatchet columnist.

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