On weekends when darkness falls, students' hands are constantly on electronic devices searching for someone to spend the night with. With text messages, BBMs, Facebook chat, or even two-way pagers, everyone has their own method of contacting Mr. or Ms. Right Now. But take a lesson from those who have learned the hard way: Sometimes it is beneficial to slow things down.
Last semester I was fortunate enough to be presented with a number of sexual opportunities. A new freshman looking for her first college fling and some more experienced seniors were all finding things they liked in me. The opportunity was bewildering - I was being offered sex, no strings attached, from girls whose paths would never cross.
If you had told me then that there was such a thing as too much sex, I would have hastily denied it. That is, until I realized, maybe I'm just a bit more naive than I thought. Throughout my escapades it never occurred to me that the girls on my booty call list could be using me as well, that the girl I call Number One might have a list of her own.
One Thursday evening out, I spotted Number One outside a club. She had texted me earlier saying she was tired and wanted to leave soon, which I interpreted to mean that she wanted to go home and get tangled in the sheets. I can't say I wasn't pumped, until I walked inside and saw my Number One all over a random - at least to me - guy in an Ed Hardy T-shirt.
I don't fashion myself as an emotional guy. But I was annoyed, to say the least. Leaving the scene in a cab alone, I realized I had never anticipated Number One would get with someone else. I had been thinking of girls like On-Demand television - there when I wanted them and otherwise just waiting around for me to call. But that is simply not the case, as I found out all too well.
In the end, when it comes to potential hook-up situations, girls have just as much control as boys. They are not sitting at home waiting for a call. And a "sure thing" may have three more sure things waiting around for her. So do yourself a favor and talk to your potential partner. You don't have to put a ring on her finger, but you do have to communicate.